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Contest Results | Poetry | Picture Prompts (April 2008)

 
 
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  #1  
Old 05-01-2008, 08:23 AM
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Default Contest Results | Poetry | Picture Prompts (April 2008)


Congratulations are in order for skhull for her amusing poem "What's an Alabastard?"

1. skhull - 19, 19, 16, 19 - 18.25
2. AutumnRisen - 17, 18, 14, 18 - 16.75
3. BlackWolf - 16, 18.5, 15, 17 - 16.625
4. Tau Worlock - 13.5, 16, 14, 13 - 14.125
5. ~WishfulWriter~ - 12.5, 15, 12, 14 - 13.375
6. _zeb_ - 12, 12, 12, 12 - 12

A big thank you to Baron for participating as a guest judge this month.


Originally Posted by Icarus View Post
Member: ~WishfulWriter~
Title: Castle Doorway Picture

Mechanics: 3.5/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 6/10

A little too cutesy for my tastes and a fairly predictable subject. I would have liked to see you go beyond the obvious for this picture. Also, I think you could do this with less rhyme and structure, which might help bring more creativity to it.

Score: 12.5/20

*****

Member: BlackWolf
Title: none

Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 8/10

A very interesting take on this picture; this is definitely different. I particularly like the reference to copper as opposed to blatantly talking about blood. There seems to be a bit of inconsistency in your capitalization that makes this less polished than it could be.

Score: 16/20

*****

Member: skhull
Title: Whatís an Alabastard?

Mechanics: 4.5/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 9.5/10

Quite delightful; I genuinely wanted to read it many times over. The fact that it isnít really a poem in the technical sense doesnít bother me in the least. Youíve given each of the three speakers a distinct tone. My only quibble is with the child saying hems, which just didnít feel like a word a kid would use; everything else is spot on!

Score: 19/20

*****

Member: AutumnRisen
Title: Gargoyle

Mechanics: 4.5/5
Intangibles: 4.5/5
Overall Impression: 8/10

The connection to the picture is faint, but there are enough things to like about this that I can slightly overlook that. Youíve made some excellent word choices and produced great alliteration in a few places. This really reads well and it has a cadence to it despite being unstructured. Good imagery as well.

Score: 17/20

*****

Member: _zeb_
Title: Cold White Bliss

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 6/10

Iím glad someone finally chose this picture. I think you could have made this better by focusing on the third stanza (I like the glue stick idea) and having less exposition, which is what the first two stanzas feel like. Also, watch your spelling: did you mean stopped or is stooped correct? I rather like stooped, actually, but when two words are so close like that, you need to make sure youíve spelled it correctly because the meaning can be entirely different.

Score: 12/20

*****

Member: Tau Worlock
Title: the realm stone

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 3.5/5
Overall Impression: 7/10

This poem doesnít do justice to the idea you have behind it. I would have liked to have seen much more depth to it; you could have really fleshed out the fey references and the imagery of the key and door. Instead, it seems like itís just a bunch of place-holders or filler words, waiting for something more enticing. Iíd really like to see you work on this one.

Score: 13.5/20
Originally Posted by Queen of Wands View Post
Member: ~WishfulWriter~
Title: Castle Doorway Picture

Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 8/10

A charming poem with a strong emphasis on togetherness. You've gone for a structure, though, and not quite pulled it off. The merter is noticably diminished in the second half, and teh rhyme scheme of the first stanza does not match the other three. Some of the rhymes seem a little forced as well, but still, a good effort.

Score: 15/20

*****

Member: BlackWolf
Title: none

Mechanics: 5/5
Intangibles: 4.5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10

Brief and pungent (Yes, I said pungent. Look it up if you don't believe me. ) with not a single word wasted. I might have liked some deeper insight, but what is here, I cannot fault.

Score: 18.5/20

*****

Member: skhull
Title: Whatís an Alabastard?

Mechanics: 5/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10

Presuambly, you are using the word alabastard to mean alabastrian or alabastrine? In any event, I like the playfulness of the title, and the humorous conversation that ensues. Definitely puts a smile on my face.

Score: 19/20

*****

Member: AutumnRisen
Title: Gargoyle

Mechanics: 4.5/5
Intangibles: 4.5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10

I'm not convinced about the necessity of all the dashes; in fact, I find them a wee bit distracting. And, perhaps curiously, in view of the title, I don't much care for the final stanza. I actually think the poem could finish after the fifth, and be stronger for it. But I love your vacabulary - and I have even learnt a new word, piacular. Overall verdict: very nearly, but not quite on the money for me.

Score: 18/20

*****

Member: _zeb_
Title: Cold White Bliss

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 6/10

There is a light dusting of snow on the bicycles and none on the ground, yet you paint a frozen landscape, which is not wholly appropriate. There are also some SPAG problems, and those bring your score down, I'm afraid. A pleasant piece, but nothing special.

Score: 12/20

*****

Member: Tau Worlock
Title: the realm stone

Mechanics: 3.5/5
Intangibles: 3.5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10

The use of 'a yonder', 'a wander', and 'a wonder' does not work for me. In fact, it impedes my comprehension somewhat since they do not seem to fit exactly. But I do like the imagery here. I only wish there was more to get my teeth into. Perhaps a slightly expanded version would have been better.

Score: 16/20
Originally Posted by Baron
Castle Doorway Picture Ė Wishful Writer

Mechanics 3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 6/10

Much of the rhyme in this came over as forced and the theme seemed only incidental.


C Ė Black Wolf

Mechanics 4/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 7/10

I enjoyed reading this and the imagery was spot on.


What's An Alabastard? - Skhull
Mechanics 4/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 8/10

Original presentation and a very well put together and amusing poem.


Gargoyle Ė Aautumn Risen

Mechanics 3/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 7/10

The rhythm let this one down for me and the theme an afterthought tagged on to the end of the poem.


Cold White Bliss - Zeb

Mechanics 3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 6/10

Typos didnít help this one. The images were interesting.



The Realm Stone Ė Tau Worlock

Mechanics 4/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 7/10

I quite enjoyed reading this one. Some good imagery.
Originally Posted by Mridula
Member: ~WishfulWriter~
Title: Castle Doorway Picture

Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 7/10

There was nothing that stood out as exceptional in this. I did wish you could have interpreted the picture a bit more creatively. The flow in the second part stumbles, and the rhyme scheme isnít consistent. If you must go for a rhyme scheme and structure, you should stick to it.

Score: 14/20

-----------------------------
Member: Blackwolf
Title: Untitled

Mechanics: 5/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 8/10

I liked your take on this. Short, sweet, says a lot in a few words. The imagery appealed to me.

Score: 17/20

----------------------------------

Member: skhull
Title: Whatís An Alabastard

Mechanics: 5/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10

This made me laugh! I loved how you interpreted the picture. I read it thrice because I liked it so much. Very creative, and a good title. Am I right in assuming that the title refers to a swear word, or as Queen of Wands mentioned, an alabastrine?

Score: 19/20

----------------------------------
Member: AutumnRisen
Title: Gargoyle

Mechanics: 4.5/5
Intangibles: 4.5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10

I liked your use of alliteration and structure. The last verse worked for me, though I did find my attention wandering in between. Your choice of words was good, and at times, educational. I read this several times, to appreciate it better. This was an enjoyable entry

Score: 18/20

----------------------------------
Member: _zeb_
Title: Cold White Bliss

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 6/10

There was nothing remarkable about this. There were typos and grammatical errors that put me off. I didnít care too much for the subject of the poem; I felt no sense of involvement. Sorry.

Score: 12/20

----------------------------------
Member: Tau Worlock
Title: the realm stone

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 7/10

An interesting short piece, but nothing that moved me. The imagery was good, though and the structure appealed to me.

Score: 13/20

----------------------------------

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  #2  
Old 05-02-2008, 01:40 AM
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Congratulation skhull on doing so well

*hands skhull a *

Good luck the rest of you.
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Last edited by Tau; 06-08-2008 at 03:46 AM..
 

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