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"Bitches"

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  #1  
Old 06-20-2017, 11:43 AM
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Default "Bitches"


It's a city full of bitches
and those bitches are full of judgments
and those judgments are full of insecurities
and those insecurities are full of lacking
and all that lacking is full of
self-importance
and it all stems from deep-seated
childhood traumas
and it all makes perfect sense
and you don't have to go to college
to follow.

As a drop-out perpetually indebted
to a future that could have been,
let me impart one problem-solving skill
I learned in my time of higher education--
it pays to be kind in a city full of bitches.

Minority rules.

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Old 06-20-2017, 02:48 PM
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I don't like the last line. It's not necessary.
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Old 06-20-2017, 04:05 PM
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[QUOTE=LuvKnife

As a drop-out perpetually indebted
to a future that could have been,

[/QUOTE]

Here, for me, is the pulse of the piece.
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Old 06-20-2017, 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
I don't like the last line. It's not necessary.
Bitch.
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Old 06-20-2017, 06:04 PM
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Originally Posted by LuvKnife View Post
Bitch.


Yeah, I hate poets too...
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Old 06-25-2017, 02:45 PM
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I enjoyed this poem. It made the point. But I too am a bitch like brianpatrick because I completely agree with him. It's a stronger poem if you lose the last line.
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Old 06-25-2017, 02:56 PM
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Repeat the last line at least three times and it will be awesome.


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Old 01-29-2018, 08:33 PM
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I think you could subtract that last line "minority rules" and the poem would be succinct. As .. minority doesn't rule.. But it should. And that's all I'm willing to say about that
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