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Horribly Funny Metaphors

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  #1  
Old 06-15-2012, 12:17 PM
maidahl
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Default Horribly Funny Metaphors


This is where you list horrible metaphors and similes.
I'll go.


"She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, the sound a dog makes just before it throws up."

"His rejection hurt me, my heart aching in the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall."


Last edited by maidahl; 06-15-2012 at 02:17 PM..
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Old 06-15-2012, 12:20 PM
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He was a tall six-foot four-inch lampost.

Last edited by maidahl; 06-15-2012 at 02:17 PM..
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Old 06-15-2012, 01:56 PM
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Call me pedantic, but these are surely similes, not metaphors?

My offer: "it was as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike".
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Old 06-15-2012, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by lexy View Post
Call me pedantic, but these are surely similes, not metaphors?

My offer: "it was as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike".
Yeah. I said it's for horrible metaphors and similes. thanks for your offer!
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Old 06-15-2012, 11:42 PM
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he was as tall as a bush but not nearly as a tree
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Old 06-16-2012, 01:27 PM
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She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
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Old 06-16-2012, 01:47 PM
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Her vocabulary was as bad as whatever.
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Old 06-16-2012, 11:08 PM
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his manners were as impeccable as his words
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Old 06-16-2012, 11:31 PM
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He is such an evil knievel.
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:08 AM
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she always knows as much as others
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Old 06-17-2012, 12:14 PM
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He is a moon. Because he is. Shiny and bald.
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Old 06-30-2012, 08:27 AM
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He/she had a face like a slapped arse.
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Old 06-30-2012, 02:15 PM
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"Your hand, while firm and masculine, is as soft as a velour child.”

Zapp Brannigan, Futurama
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Old 06-30-2012, 02:20 PM
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'Like a bad-tempered child, on a rain-swept street.'

David Bowie, Dead Man Walking
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Old 06-30-2012, 07:13 PM
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The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
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