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Loco Motive

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  #1  
Old 07-28-2018, 05:05 PM
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Default Loco Motive


His palm would cup my hip bone,
fingertips probing for purchase beneath its knuckles
before his hand closed in a bowler's grip
that claimed unconcscious posession.

Pinned in tandem, his arm
the coupling rod that
harnessed my propulsion
even in sleep.

I wondered if he dreamt his own dreams
or followed me into mine.
I wondered if it was a gesture of love
or fear because I slept facing the door.

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Old 07-29-2018, 06:37 AM
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Your poems are always good Grace! The movement mechanics are interesting. They are the waving red before the sword that takes you home.
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Old 07-29-2018, 09:45 AM
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This is some good peomification. I can understand and relate to both sides of it.

Paints a clear picture, but I'm not really visualizing the knuckle thing, though, maybe because it's singular?

Nice work!
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Old 07-29-2018, 10:15 AM
anna (Offline)
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yes! agree with the boys sentiments there -
can only read and wonder at how itís done

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Old 07-29-2018, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by E. Zamora View Post
This is some good peomification. I can understand and relate to both sides of it.

Paints a clear picture, but I'm not really visualizing the knuckle thing, though, maybe because it's singular?

Nice work!

Good catch - have amended. Thanks x
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Old 07-29-2018, 10:17 AM
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Originally Posted by BrokenPoem View Post
Your poems are always good Grace! The movement mechanics are interesting. They are the waving red before the sword that takes you home.
KBR! So pleased to see you honey. Welcome back. x
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Old 07-29-2018, 10:20 AM
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Originally Posted by anna View Post
yes! agree with the boys sentiments there -
can only read and wonder at how itís done


Your posts are beautiful and increasingly skilful - love reading your stuff these days lady. x
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Old 07-29-2018, 11:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Grace Gabriel View Post
KBR! So pleased to see you honey. Welcome back. x
Thank you Grace! I think it's good to be back.
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Old 07-30-2018, 08:57 PM
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I really odd piece right here Grace, it's haunting leaving me wondering for more, I wish it were a little longer.
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Old 08-03-2018, 06:55 PM
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His palm would cup my hip bone,
fingertips probing for purchase beneath its knuckles
before his hand closed in a bowler's grip
that claimed unconcscious posession.

Pinned in tandem, his arm
the coupling rod that
harnessed my propulsion
even in sleep.

Oh I fucking love that, such a pretty, harsh line.

I wondered if he dreamt his own dreams
or followed me into mine.
I wondered if it was a gesture of love
or fear because I slept facing the door.

ouch, that is a really ugly, yet great poem. Really, really good. Amazing.
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