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Writer's dual!! Quill against quill in a linguistic struggle for respect!!

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  #1  
Old 12-29-2012, 03:29 PM
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Default Writer's dual!! Quill against quill in a linguistic struggle for respect!!


In a certain thread, a certain writer told another writer he could "Write circles around him", and challenged him to a good old fashioned write-off. This seems like a fun and less antagonistic way for the two to work out their differences, and to be quite honest (and a bit selfish) I'd love to read the results. If they could get through the animosity through creativity rather than name calling perhaps everyone could benefit.

And a write-off sounds rather amusing. Please comment ideas for rules and/or just to support this exciting event!

Thanks for your time, Wil!

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Old 12-29-2012, 03:45 PM
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I recommend they use the Albright Standard English Quills. They are sturdy and dependable and the bronze tip lends them an air of style that even the most discerning writer can apprecitate.

Since the forum members are the judges I suggest we get a sampling of subjects we would like to see in print. Seems fair and avoids the suspicion of prior usage in print by either contestant.

Let's make it challenging, a real test of their writing mettle.
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Old 12-29-2012, 04:43 PM
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Is it an instant win to point out that it's spelled "duel"?
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Old 12-29-2012, 04:47 PM
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you shouldn't be allowed to use compasses, or the bottom of a cup.
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Old 12-29-2012, 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Lin View Post
Is it an instant win to point out that it's spelled "duel"?

Spelling in posts don't count. If they did we would all be in the shit...as past posts have proven.
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Old 12-29-2012, 04:57 PM
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Lin-We'll agree to disagree on that point! May the best writer win!!

Spelling schmelling- I want two writers, feverishly typing themselves into a lather for the ultimate prize in prose- the respect of random online nobodies! With stakes this high, who could resist the action! A quip, a quote, a stroke of the pen as cruel as that of the sword- one wordsmythe victorious, the other ruined!

Paragraphs parried against paragraphs, meter racing neck in neck with meter, dictionaries ripped to shreads in the frantic search for the sharpest biting adjective, commas are hand grenades, exclamation points poison tipped spears! Each period a grunt in the struggle for punctuation domination! Misspellings are trips, slips, falls! Metaphors are back stabs to exposed kidneys!

Writers- Sharpen your pencils- it's about to get real.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:11 PM
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I'm obviously the last person to say anything about forum typos being a measure of writing ability. And should have known it wouldn't have been taken jocularly. But it does get to what is unworkable about this: who's the judge?
Why should he be the judge?
The whole non-criteria nature of writing compared to athletics or sales or elections is obvious.
You can't really have duels between writers because there is no stopclock, no finish line, no blood, no knockout.
Waste of time.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:55 PM
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You can't really have duels between writers because there is no stopclock, no finish line, no blood, no knockout.
That's a good point, the only constant in the writing industry that you can compare is number of sales, but that's not a great measure, because there are plenty of best selling authors out there who are less than perfect writers. For example, I don't think much of JK Rowling's writing, but she's probably the most well known writer of the modern age.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:59 PM
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The originator of the proposed duel thought the forum members could vote as to who the better writer was based on a given piece of work. He also proposed that a thousand dollars be put on the line between the two. Winner take all.

Surely with all the great intellects roaming these forums we can come up with a set of criteria to take the subjectivity out of art and reduce it to a matter of nuts and bolts making the outcome an easy one to predict. Something with a math like precision would work nicely. A point system.

It's kind of slow around here this time of the year with the holidays and all so we few who are hanging out are just drumming up some entertainment value for the buck. True there will be no bloodshed, unless the loser sits in a hot tub of water and opens their veins, but that is unlikely considering they are writers not gladiators.

Yes, it's a waste of time because it's not gonna happen but if it did I think the amusement value would be immeasurable, (I think I spelled that right.)

By tomorrow this will all have blown over and we will be busy tilting other windmills.
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Old 12-29-2012, 07:22 PM
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Williams vs who?
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:59 PM
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Not me, friend. This is from another thread. LaughingJim has already stated that he's in. Waiting on confirmation from his rival.
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Old 12-29-2012, 11:58 PM
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("...nah, the fame and fortune part is an utter waste of time to me..." ventured the goblin, explaining "...I mean to go to one's grave without knowing who one was by what one posted, and simply because one wanted to emulate paris hilton too, surely one can do more with one's muse than sell her to medusa for thirty pieces of silver each time...")
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Lin View Post
You can't really have duels between writers because there is no stopclock, no finish line, no blood, no knockout.
Waste of time.
You could decide the result by a vote, I suppose. Also, the competitive element could drive the authors (whoever they are) to new heights of achievement. Like Lennon and McCartney, but in a not-really-like-Lennon-and-McCartney-at-all sort of way.
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:21 AM
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By the way, which thread did this awesome-sounding alleged bloodbath take place in? I seem to have missed it.

Edit: Never mind, I've found it. Bookmarked for lunchtime reading.
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Last edited by Burlesk; 12-30-2012 at 02:33 AM..
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:28 AM
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surely one can do more with one's muse than sell her to medusa for thirty pieces of silver each time
I only want people to read my writing and enjoy it for what it is, I don't necessarily want to change lives.
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Old 12-30-2012, 07:06 PM
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This would be difficult, because, in my opinion, writing cannot be judged by sales, or likes and dislikes on a forum.

Good writing, is judged, again in my opinion, by the degree of relevance it maintains over time; how dedicated is the readership, to a particular piece of work, over generations, this is the hallmark of quality.
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Old 12-30-2012, 07:25 PM
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Well, it kind of can be judged by sales. Shows popular likes. Anybody who wants to say they have a better definition of successful writing than that should roll it out and let everybody snicker at it and piss on it.

The idea that a popular vote is somehow a better judge than sales, where people actually have some committtment to their choice is an odd one, I'd say.

(I'll spare you my snickers and whiz at your criteria. But you might want to think about how THAT could be judged and evalutated)

And if you wnat some insight on "quality", you might want to read a book called "Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance"
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Old 12-30-2012, 08:25 PM
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Jesus, you dullards! One guy challenged another guy to a write off! It's funny. I want to see it.

Keep wallowing in the "importance of the integrity of the value of the craft cannot be judged blah blah" and miss having any fun. Brilliant.

Forget it- you stiffs can have the thread. Jesus.
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Old 12-30-2012, 09:24 PM
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In my opinion...

First and last day here..
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:20 PM
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Sales is not always measured in dollars and cents. The selling of an idea or a particular thing can be measured by the popular vote, for or against it.

Holy cow, did newcomer mark d just quit the WB? If so I call dibbs on his piece of the; Welcome to the WB cake.
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:21 AM
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Well, there's clearly a deep and lengthy discussion to be had on the subjectivity of value-judgements, popularity versus populism, the durability test of the quality of creative art, and so on. Here and now, though, I just want to see a literary slap-fight.

I have a feeling it's not going to happen, though.
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Old 12-31-2012, 04:22 AM
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("...most people would judge that colan doyle was very successful with his creation sherlock holmes, yet he himself grew to hate his creation even killing it off then, only to forced to bring it back because those same readers wanted nothing but sherlock holmes now..." mentioned the goblin agreeing with Lin in his way, and yet warning that successful writing can also trap one by the rewards it offers, adding "...I suspect that the readers too, are more inclined to read posts than ebooks today, that the on-line content providers were looking for shortish things to entice viewer with too, whereas the writer not only needs their writings in ebook form, but that they also now need a quick witted on-line persona like the one Lin has...", and with that the goblin waved goodbye to mark.d, saying "...more readers here than on most writer's forums, and please don't misunderstand us, this forum is not some workshop for would be writers, instead it's their showroom window, for how else are those readers going to find their next read without the word of mouth that forumland offers like this...")

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Old 12-31-2012, 11:04 AM
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"...bravo, bravo..." the chameleon claps his hands slowly smiling "...who's next then..." and posts an image before it's declared against the rules then

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Old 12-31-2012, 01:26 PM
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("...no, what picture, I don't see a picture now, does anyone see a picture then..." went the goblin now)
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Old 12-31-2012, 04:58 PM
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I think that the winner should be decided by vote.

I'm willing to go up against someone in a write off.

Last edited by tahdas; 12-31-2012 at 05:13 PM..
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Old 12-31-2012, 06:14 PM
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Isn't someone going to challenge me to a "dual" or something?
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Old 12-31-2012, 06:34 PM
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Apparently if Samuel Johnson were flurried by losing an argument he would "turn round like a beast at bay, and argue ad hominem"

"But, really, Sir, when we see a very sensible dog, we don't know what to think of him"
"True, Sir, and when we see a very foolish fellow, we don't know what to think of him"

Suppose the loser of the "write-off" is the first writer who writes against the person rather than in response to their writing. My argument is based on the idea that only a person involved in a "write-off" will know when they are beat and retort with personal comments.

I have been involved in six and twenty "write-offs" in my time, and one, from memory, lasted eight and twenty consecutive weeks. If I remember correctly my opponent died of scurvy.
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Old 01-01-2013, 04:02 AM
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"...no I agree with Pickle..." nods the chameleon eager to accept the challenge and choose weapons "...though this is indeed a very unusual site where writers actually write, and many now in their posts, some even without realising it even, and such duels would be rather interesting then I should imagine, especially if anyone can join in..." smiles Jats waking to a sunny, windy, new year in the shire where it seems he was the only one not fucking the new year in with gay abandon last night, apparently, where even his neighbour was at it til half past two "...though there are some very good tag teams on forumland, and packs too, and who knows who just swanning in, unannounced, infiltrating from the shadows, so let the duels begin then...and oh, yes, a Happy New Year then to all, don't mind me, I'm just here for the nibbles..."

pic

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Old 01-02-2013, 03:53 AM
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W...T...F???
Was the OP on drugs or something?
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Old 01-02-2013, 04:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Gaines View Post
The originator of the proposed duel thought the forum members could vote as to who the better writer was based on a given piece of work.
Not to point out the obvious or anything, but we already have a 'Members' Choice' competition that runs quarterly with prose and poetry winners getting published in the Writer's Beat Quarterly.

Anyone can nominate a piece and when the nomination period is over the vote is open to all members on which pieces they like best.

You people don't even know the power you've already got!!
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