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Peace

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  #1  
Old 04-09-2018, 08:58 AM
Vince (Offline)
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Jealous, sorrow sulks at Peace.
Angry in the face of calm, violent.
Making the attack, it only wishes release.

Separated from the raging storms of life,
Peace unlike its more volatile cousin desire,
loves its own company, nothing causing strife

Unhappiness and desire a coalition of discontent.
The soft walls of contentment try blocking the assault.
But peace, a frightened bird, is driven away, totally spent.

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Old 04-09-2018, 01:07 PM
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This kind of poetry is over my head, but I will say the rhyme works well. It was almost subtle and I liked that. Anything further you need a real poet good friend
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I'm just bored. Slinging the first thought that comes to mind, which is often poor advise.

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Old 04-09-2018, 06:14 PM
Vince (Offline)
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thanks daes13 - I'm not a real poet - just feel and write it down.
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Old 05-03-2018, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Vince View Post
Jealous, sorrow sulks at Peace.
Angry in the face of calm, violent.
Making the attack, it only wishes release.

Separated from the raging storms of life,
Peace unlike its more volatile cousin desire,
loves its own company, nothing causing strife

Unhappiness and desire a coalition of discontent.
The soft walls of contentment try blocking the assault.
But peace, a frightened bird, is driven away, totally spent.
I really like the rhyming scheme and the structure.
'..sorrow sulks at peace ...'; exactly! I've seen a lot of people who do this. It's a cool poem. The only thing I would say is that the real subject of the piece is a little unclear (except for the title). In the first stanza the subject appears to be sorrow. In the second, it's peace; and in the third, it seems to be unhappiness and desire. But maybe that's just my reading of it. I really like your imagery.
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Old 05-03-2018, 06:27 PM
Vince (Offline)
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glad you liked it Lingard. I often get a bit confused when writing - but it is about peace not being very peaceful. I am not really a poet at least not one who has studied.
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Old 05-03-2018, 06:35 PM
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Neither am I (a poet). It's something I'd like to get better at, though. And I might be totally wrong about the subject thing. Just how I read it.
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