Go Back   WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry

Poetry Sit down or take a stand in this poetry section.

My Most Favorite Thing in the Whole Wide World

Thread Tools
Old 05-05-2018, 08:52 PM
Elenita (Offline)
Official Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 41
Thanks: 22
Thanks 8
Default My Most Favorite Thing in the Whole Wide World

“What does red look like,” I ask
one night, my mother’s
arm around me

“Red,” she begins, “feels like a
lamp that you just plugged in
the socket. The glass bulb is still cold
until the flicker starts to warm the
sides, spreading from your fingertips
to your heart”

“What about blue?”

“Blue tastes like melting ice cream
dripping down a crumbling cone
on a windy autumn day.
Your lips are too sticky so you
put out your tongue to lick up
the last drop.”

“And yellow?”

“Yellow. Yellow sounds like an egg
cracking open on the side of the nest.
Mommy bird is perched on the edge
waiting for the chirping fluff of feathers
to come and take its first step
of new life.”

“And me?” I ask, drawing closer
to the light of her smile
shining down on me.
“What do I look like?”

She pulls me into her arms, I hear
her breath quivering, I feel
her tears between my fingers
on her cheek. And she whispers
“You, my child, you look like my
most favorite thing in the whole wide world.”

Note: I feel like this poem reads like a children's poem, which wasn't my original intention. Your thoughts?

Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2018, 03:14 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,538
Thanks: 2,100
Thanks 1,382

Yeah, it does read like a children's poem.

The title/nailer is a bigtime cliche that works when used in this format.
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote

  WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Creep World (WIP) MalReynolds Fiction 21 09-07-2017 06:06 AM
Backwards World (Chapter 1) (Zombie Book) (Language & Mild Gore) Juganhut Fiction 0 03-05-2014 09:25 AM
Screwed (Chapter One- Summer) btzneb Fiction 0 12-27-2009 10:52 PM
[Fantasy]The Dark Forest Novel [WIP] Desmond Tiny Fiction 1 12-02-2006 09:15 AM
That Red Door Caste Fiction 3 01-20-2006 09:14 PM

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:59 PM.

vBulletin, Copyright © 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.