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Chocked full of xmas cheer

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Old 12-19-2011, 12:02 PM
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Default Chocked full of xmas cheer


IVAN paces steadily in front and takes a hit off a joint. SALLY peers out the upstairs window and waves for him to come up. Ivan gives her a friendly 'TIME OUT SIGNAL'. She frowns, shrugs her shoulders and closes the curtain.


Sally paces back and forth in her bijou lavender painted living room. BECCA, her next door neighbor sits quietly reading a book while sipping some Christmas cheer.

SALLY: Ivan can be such a pain in the butt sometimes. I didn't mean to embarrass him. I mean, it just slipped out.

BECCA: Well, he should know you by now. You get a terrible case of foot in mouth disease when you booze it up a bit too much.

SALLY: But I only had two Noel Cosmos.

BECCA: I don't know how you can stand them. Peppermint and grenadine is a bad combo if you ask me.

SALLY: Have you tried it?

BECCA: No but ... Hey, let's get back on track. Calling your boyfriend a Hooter freak ain't my idea of spreading Christmas cheer.

SALLY: I guess you're right but it's true. He watched that Miss Hooter contest on TV from beginning to end and didn't even once, look at me. I mean, my rack is real.

BECCA: Yeah but you know how men can sometimes be. They're oblivious to reality when it comes to boobs. If they're perfectly symmetrical who cares if they're filled with gel.

SALLY: No excuse. I'll show him some gel.

BECCA: Bottom line, does he love you?

SALLY: He says he does but I don't know if ...

BECCA: (looks out the window) Well, you better decide cause he's coming up.

SALLY: Shit! I just wish he'd propose and put me out my misery. Fix me another drink, will you? I need some Dutch courage.

BECCA: You sure? It's over your limit and you remember what happened last night.

SALLY: Remind me again.

BECCA: You flashed all his work cohorts at the annual Christmas cocktail party.

SALLY: Oh right. I had just got that pretty little tattoo on my back last week.

BECCA: That's not all you flashed.

SALLY: Oh fudge. Okay, make it weak.

Becca makes a Noel Cosmos as Ivan enters. Ivan puts his coat in the closet, heads for the fridge and pulls out a beer. He takes a swig then plops down on the sofa. Becca hands Sally a drink and heads for the door.

IVAN: You don't have to go Becca. Sally and I don't keep secrets between the menage.

SALLY: Ivan, do you have to bring that up again. Becca and I were just kidding.

IVAN: Then what were you and Becca doing half naked and hugging in your bed.

SALLY: We were just comparing belly buttons.

IVAN: I guess bellies are funny enough but touching tongues is a bit over the top.

BECCA: Hold on. We were sticking our tongues out at you. Man, men see what they want to see.

IVAN: A man can dream, can't he?

They all LAUGH as Sally falls onto Ivan's lap. Becca heads for the door.

BECCA: Well, I'm off to the Track. I hear there's a great band playing tonight. Maybe I might get lucky. Happy Holidays, you two.

Becca exits as Ivan and Sally kiss. He gets a little frisky as Sally pulls away.

SALLY: Alright, are you going to ask or what?

IVAN: Ask what?

SALLY: Don't play coy with me. My 30th birthday is coming up tomorrow and I don't wanna be known around this part of town as the ole maid.

IVAN: I thought they already called you that.

SALLY: (downs her Cosmos) Come on Ivan. Stop joking around and put me out of my misery.

IVAN: So I can miserable?

SALLY: (throws pillow and goes the window) Ivan!

IVAN: I know. That was not called for. You know I love you Sal but I'm not ready for marriage ... yet. I . ah ... need to concentrate on my career.

SALLY: Who says you have to be ready. My parents got married when they were younger than us and they've been married for twenty-eight years.

IVAN: But you're almost thirty. Hey, you're telling me that your parents weren't married when you were born.

SALLY: No, I mean yeah but they ....

IVAN: They weren't ready?

SALLY: (chuckles nervously) Let's just drop it.

IVAN: No, it's very interesting that the stork dropped a Christmas package before they took their vows.

SALLY: Not so. They were both married and ..

IVAN: They were having an affair?

SALLY: Forget it. I think I'll meet Becca at the Track. It's getting a little stuffy around here.

IVAN: I should say not. Infidelity isn't that stuffy.

SALLY: Alright, I'll tell you. Ralph, dad's best buddy couldn't have children so my dad became a seed donor. My parents fell in love and my mom left Ralph and dad left Bernice. Are you satisfied now? (starts to cry)

IVAN: Oh honey, I'm sorry to bring up such a touchy subject.

SALLY: You don't have to apologize. My parents aren't immoral beasts just cause they had me. They just fell in love. Just like us.

IVAN: ... Hold on. Are you saying you're carrying a Christmas package?

SALLY: Ah ... I could be.

IVANgrabs another beer and gulps it down) But I'm not ready to have a kid.

SALLY: Then what are you ready for?

IVAN: Ah ... (pulls out a ring) Marriage, I guess. Will you marry me, Sally?

SALLY: You ole dog! You were going to propose all along.

IVAN: Yep, ruff ruff.

SALLY: I love you!

They kiss and hug. Ivan pulls away.

IVAN: Okay, are you carrying a Xmas package or not?

SALLY: Not yet but I hope to NOT be drinking after Christmas.

IVAN: Let's hit the Track, Babe. I feel like celebrating and kicking up my heels.

SALLY: Sure but let's not stay out too long. I want you kicking up something later on.

IVAN: You're on but I'm leaving my raincoat on for a while, okay?

SALLY: OK. I guess the hot TOT-tee can wait till next Christmas.

Ivan opens closet, gets both of their coats. They exit.

© 2011 Lebo

Last edited by Lebo; 12-21-2011 at 04:09 PM..
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Old 09-30-2013, 03:13 PM
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Pretty good
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