Originally Posted by EndlessPoss.
In the Dark Ages rages [too many times have you used capital letters. They should be used only when begining a new sentense or for a noun] a War between The Manna Kingdom of Humans and the Underworld of Demons. No one knows how the war began or how long the war has lasted however, one night it will. [however, one night the war will... what? I think you skipped some words here] A warrior from a far off land who has no name, has been nicknamed The Nameless Warrior. [A warrior who has no name is nicknamed the Nameless warrior? That sounds a little blunt. I think you can be more imaginative than that.] He became a soldier of The Manna Kingdom and became The Kings, [Kings, King Hornois' greatest warrior of all times? This sentense just sounds wrong.] King Hornois' greatest warrior of all time. He even fell in love with Kings Hornois' daughter Lauranna. On the eve of the last night of the war they were to be wed and King Hornois couldn't be happier. That even [That even the nameless warrior was to lead his troops to one final battle? Again, I don't get the point of this sentense. What are you trying to say?] The Nameless Warrior was to lead his troops to one final battle to end the war.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Those errors were in the first paragraph. The following ones, there are many more.
You have a passion for writing. I can see that. But I think you still need to write a lot more to be able to find your voice.
I hope my opinions helped.
Best of luck,