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The Coffee Shop

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  #1  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:02 AM
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Default The Coffee Shop


Here's our current menu. If you'd like to suggest for something, let us know...


Cafť's Menu

-Beverages-

===Lemo'nade'===
The Head Chef's explosive favorite.

===The Fireball===
Well, one of our waitresses throws a fireball at you. Drink it if you can.

===Old Age Spirits===
Made in the 1500's, drunk in the 1500's, refilled and sold to you- now.

===Turtle Toe Tea===
Turtle's toes in green tea.

===Calamari Coffee===
Ground-up callamari in your favorite cup of Joe

===Rabid Bat Coffee===
Classic roast, with an exciting dash of diseased flying rodent.

-Medicine Beverages-

===Alchohol-Tylenol===
Here is the concoction you've been waiting for!
Rubbing Alchohal + Dirt + Tylenol + Acid + Coffee
Mixed in one mighty brew, and steamed to perfection!

===Dog Bog===
Highly concentrated doggy ear medicine, mixed with paint thinner and a piece of dry ice.
Not for dogs, it will kill them.

===Meat Shake===
You name it, we got it: in the blender of course!
Dog meat, cat meat, racoon meat, baboon meat,
frog meat, fox meat, beaver meat, penguin meat... so many choices!
Blended with 10 different meats and powerful pain killers

-Main Courses-

===Clammy Chowder===
Served cold. Might be frozen. Contains unknown radioactive ingredients.

===Magical Paste===
Made of drywall, lime, beer, ricotta cheese, and pale orange juice.
It cleanses the mind!
!Be sure to look for a bonus drywall on the side!

===Burnt Soup===
Tastes just like steak, basking in the raw heat of the sun for three years.

===Pigeon and Monkey Musical===
A massive mixture of fresh pigeon and monkey roadkill.
Can be served with one of the two dressing- Motor Oil, Liquid Nitrogen

===Sulferic Acid Shrimp===
Shrimp cooked in pure sulfuric acid.
It might taste good, if you still have a tongue after eating it.

===Smiley Pancakes===
Piss-filled bread, shaped in a circle and topped with poison ivy.
Does NOT look like a smiley face.

-Side Courses-

===Scales===
Like chips. Only hard, salty, and disgusting.

===Feces===
Everyone knows what these choclatey treats are...

===Fingers===
Your choice of fingers from monkeys, gorillas, humans, or sloths.
Sloth fingers may take longer than the rest to get to you.

===Toest===
Not a misspelling. Everybody's favourite appendage, served up crispy and buttered!
Available with or without nail.

-Pastries & Desserts-

===Mucus Cake===
With your choice of a juicy, rotten tomato filling, or a tangy, worm filling.
-Is always served with mucus frosting-

==='Bone'ana Split===
Two raw, rotten pig bones placed in a cracked stone bowl from the Caveman Era! Includes your choice of frozen bile, or disease infested feces.

===Circular Surprise!===
A thick piece of dryed out chalk, stuffed and chilled with raw salmon.

===Doughnuts===
...with blood frosting
...with extra fingernail sprinkles
...chef's special

===Assorted Danish===
(with blood frosting)


All employees:







Oasis Writer - Big Man, Foreseer of all things awesome, Virgin Hunter, Mafia King!


Wisp - Head Chef, Inventor of New and Brilliant Foods

Dephere - Waitress with a bright smile, Cafť Hermit, Assistant Manager

Titania - Corrupt Health Inspector, Waitress, Awesomous Dudette

Mr. Murder - Permanent Virgin...I mean trainee....yeah....

Apply as you see fit

Enjoy!

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Last edited by Winterbite; 02-08-2009 at 05:39 PM.. Reason: Adding to the Menu :)
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  #2  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:03 AM
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wow.. this place has character
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  #3  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:05 AM
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*Takes a breather* Okay...a new place to go insane
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Old 06-21-2006, 12:06 AM
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Oasis I used your menu, hope you don't mind.
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  #5  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:06 AM
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do we have to have insanity?
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A Girl in Winter.
His lips parted, cracked and dry as he struggled to whisper: "My muse, you're here."
She simply smiled, "Yes, Drake, I am here."
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  #6  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:06 AM
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*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG


spam spam spam

onnly I can do this, thanks.
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  #7  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:07 AM
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Used a little too much *points at the bottom of it*
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  #8  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:09 AM
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Updated?
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  #9  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:11 AM
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bwahahah - Sure. That's fine I guess. I like being the Big Man
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  #10  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:12 AM
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bad bad Ninja.. no spam!
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A Girl in Winter.
His lips parted, cracked and dry as he struggled to whisper: "My muse, you're here."
She simply smiled, "Yes, Drake, I am here."
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  #11  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:13 AM
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Umm....I feel like I should start out with something deep....

"We are not limited by the size of our mind, but the breadth of our imagination."

How's that for an entrance....
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  #12  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:14 AM
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Are we under attack? *grabs shotgun* I'm safe....not sure about the rest of you.
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Old 06-21-2006, 12:16 AM
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And if I am bribed, I will make gumbos, etoufees, and select boiled crustaceans (shrimp, crab. crawfish).

This place is awesome.
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  #14  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:17 AM
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That was quoting me, BTW....just so you know.

I made it up, at least, but I'm hoping no one else ever said that.
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  #15  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:18 AM
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I'll bribe you for the seafood Jay, that sounds good right now. And I think I read that on the back of my Kix box once Dephy.
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Old 06-21-2006, 12:20 AM
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Well I have rum and my first mate I'm happy...
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A Girl in Winter.
His lips parted, cracked and dry as he struggled to whisper: "My muse, you're here."
She simply smiled, "Yes, Drake, I am here."
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  #17  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:22 AM
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No you didn't, Oasis. *continues to eat Kix*
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  #18  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:23 AM
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I'm glad your happy Beth ...we so need an alian smile...do we have one???....wow, that's random......

Oh....sorry Dephere, was mistaken
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Old 06-21-2006, 12:24 AM
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Now it's time for me to delve into getting just a few more listings....
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Old 06-21-2006, 12:25 AM
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Have fun Jay

As for me...I'm tired....*(wow)* So, good night all.
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Old 06-21-2006, 12:25 AM
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why an alien?
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A Girl in Winter.
His lips parted, cracked and dry as he struggled to whisper: "My muse, you're here."
She simply smiled, "Yes, Drake, I am here."
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  #22  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:27 AM
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I hit colon twice, so it looked like a smily with four eyes. like - : Reminded me of an alian.

Err.... : : D without the spaces
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Last edited by Oasis Writer; 06-21-2006 at 12:27 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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  #23  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:29 AM
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I'm an alien people.

That's my secret.
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  #24  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:31 AM
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Mmm, cafes. Even though I just spent a week in Seattle I still crave coffee...
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  #25  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:31 AM
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*gasp*
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  #26  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:33 AM
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I bet its not thats the throw you off the scent..

he's really a pirate!
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A Girl in Winter.
His lips parted, cracked and dry as he struggled to whisper: "My muse, you're here."
She simply smiled, "Yes, Drake, I am here."
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  #27  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:34 AM
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Oh, I see now. Can we call him Morgan?
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  #28  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:35 AM
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I'd never shoot him!!

when I name an officer you can call him that.
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A Girl in Winter.
His lips parted, cracked and dry as he struggled to whisper: "My muse, you're here."
She simply smiled, "Yes, Drake, I am here."
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  #29  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:36 AM
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...*gets a brilliant idea*
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  #30  
Old 06-21-2006, 12:36 AM
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Arr, Pirates unite!
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