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cliche 20 - an odd love triangle

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Old 05-04-2013, 05:40 AM
erinranning (Offline)
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Default cliche 20 - an odd love triangle


Just playing with a stupid one. Something of an unorthadox love triangle. Some very silly wordplay involved at times!


__________

Coffee was in the kitchen, slowly chilling out in a glass with Cream. They’d been getting together often recently, but tonight Coffee had suggested mixing it up a little bit, get things steamy again. Hence the glass – they’d done the mug thing so many times before.

It wasn’t going anywhere though.

Coffee sank back and tossed her arms over the side of the glass. I need something new, she thought. She looked down at her fling, the thing that called himself cream. A little shudder went through her. She thought about telling him how she felt:

Look, I find you thick, ok? Just being honest. You were smooth the first time we met and I found all the fat a bit cute. Now you’re getting clingy.

Something about Cream made her soul sink, though. Her heart drowned when she saw him, blotchy on the surface. “Have you ever thought that we’re from different worlds?” she said out loud.

Shit. I don’t even know where I’m going with this. I can’t break up with you. It’s not like there are other options around.

“Look, maybe a strong south American girl isn’t what you need. I know opposites sometimes go well together.” She took in a breath. I can’t believe I’m actually doing it.

Cream didn’t answer.

“Are you ok?” said Coffee. “You don’t look healthy.” Crude, yeah. Even rude, but he doesn’t pick up on hints so well.

Cream just sludged around.

Christ. What a loser. I gotta-

Something sliced through Coffee without warning. Her heart ran screaming around her chest. It felt like metal. What the hell? You’ve already used the spoon, you don’t need it again.

The snow that fell over her all of a sudden changed everything. It was beyond her imagination and the strangest sensation dissolved right into her core. She felt high. She felt good.

Coffee stared at the snow as it sank to the bottom of the glass and stifled to get her heart rate down. She didn’t know what to think.

“Hi,” it said, smiling up at her. “You mind if I share your glass?”

Wow. Pretty direct. “Er. No. It’s ok.” The words stumbled out. “What’s your name?” she said.

“Sugar.”

Pfft. White and middle class, just like the last one. He looks rich, but then so did Cream. Don’t any guys have masculine names anymore? “Nice," she said. "I’m Coffee. From Venezuela.”

“Really?” said sugar. “How about him?" Sugar cast an eye at Cream. "You guys together?”

“We were.”

“I didn’t mean to stir." Sugar looked down at the bottom of the glass. "You do kind of look like you’re separating though.”

“What about you?” said Coffee.

“I’m in the market for something that might go well with me.” He looked straight at her. “You look hot. Can I take the edge off it?”

“That’s sweet," she said and closed her eyes. "I’ll let you know.”


Last edited by erinranning; 05-30-2013 at 04:17 AM..
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Old 05-05-2013, 06:55 PM
JustcallmeEd (Offline)
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All during breakfast... The things that go on right beneath our noses.

This is great! I especially like, "Her heart ran screaming around her chest." and, "You've already used the spoon, you don't need it again." Very funny. I almost fell off my chair.

Ditch the last line and end it with, "I'll let you know..."

Last edited by JustcallmeEd; 05-07-2013 at 12:59 PM..
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Old 12-18-2014, 01:52 AM
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My favorite Cliche Triangle by FAR! Cute as hell, well done
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Old 12-23-2014, 12:41 AM
Vian (Offline)
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Awesome wordplay!
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Old 09-07-2016, 04:21 PM
mandapanda (Offline)
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I really like the word play here!
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