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#1
04-26-2017, 03:28 PM
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Itty Birdy
I need you, it said
Don’t we know you? ’Twas foreknown— And once a bushel head It could not feed itself—to Me. That lonesome, crawling high— The beak had pressed against my “Please” All along the way, towards Eternity.
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#2
04-27-2017, 10:41 PM
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I like the last two lines - beautiful
The odd use of vocabulary distorts your writing Bot - if something is too illusive, your readers can't connect with it. Keep the words simple - your writing creates style and mood effortlessly and these are enough to carry basic language elegantly. "T'was foreknown and once a bushel head" doesn't make sense. What did you want to say here?
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GRACE GABRIEL Last edited by Grace Gabriel; 04-27-2017 at 10:48 PM..
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#3
04-29-2017, 01:02 PM
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aiight, i'm practicing. it was all about the prairie in my backyard.
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