Christmas trees! The chorus flows so well, but it's so long - lol. One hting missing in this story... a story. You've come up with a problem and a middle... no climax. I mean, yes, you done good at it, and I kinda see and ending but all you got is the girl. I didn't feel the ending. The emotion was solid, nonetheless.
You're pretty good! So is this piece...
There's three types of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can't.