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You Make Me Feel

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  #1  
Old 01-13-2006, 12:48 AM
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You Make Me Feel


I wrote this song for my gf

------------------

You Make Me Feel

------------------

Its been so long
Since i've loved someone
But you lit up my life
You are my life and my sun

As we walk
As I hold your hand
Looking at each others eyes as we talk
For my heart to fall for you I never planned
But i've never felt so right
Never knew I could fall
Fall over my heart when you came into sight

You make me feel
So right
And you'll always have my heart
This is our day, or night

[Chorus]
My feet were just still
My life was sinking
Mistake after mistake
Wasnt thinking
But once I realized what I cared about
I fell in love with you
About this I had no doubt
So when we hold hands
You make me feel
Like we made plans
That are so real
And today is our day
Me and you light up
As if we were roses in a bouquet
[End Chorus]

Im just ordinary
But you
Are just clarity
My heart was given
From my life into your charity

I guess my life has acted like a tutor
Since im sitting thinkin about you
On myspace infront of my computer

I've been through lies
I've been through tears
I've been through screams
But i've never thought i'd meat a girl so perfect as you
Not even in my dreams

[Chorus]
My feet were just still
My life was sinking
Mistake after mistake
Wasnt thinking
But once I realized what I cared about
I fell in love with you
About this I had no doubt
So when we hold hands
You make me feel
Like we made plans
That are so real
And today is our day
Me and you light up
As if we were roses in a bouquet
[End Chorus]

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  #2  
Old 08-14-2006, 03:01 PM
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I like this one more than the other I read about your gf. The chorus is very strong, and flows so perfectly, and I can actually really feel the emotion. Very nicely done.
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Old 08-14-2006, 03:10 PM
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Christmas trees! The chorus flows so well, but it's so long - lol. One hting missing in this story... a story. You've come up with a problem and a middle... no climax. I mean, yes, you done good at it, and I kinda see and ending but all you got is the girl. I didn't feel the ending. The emotion was solid, nonetheless.

You're pretty good! So is this piece...

B|F
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Old 08-14-2006, 03:52 PM
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"Looking IN each others eyes as we talk" is the only thing I can suggest here, otehr than that I like the emotion behind this, very nice. =)
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