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Poetry Sit down or take a stand in this poetry section.


Enough

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  #1  
Old 07-03-2017, 04:20 PM
KBR (Offline)
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head hung
eyes anywhere but meeting yours
kicked too much

puppy
master shy
wanting anything but what always happens

insults fly in 7th grade science
but not this time
will they break 'em down

I'm up to here
to see so close
stupid pretty handsome athletic jock

get strapped in folks
there's no getting away
with no give a damn about damage today

for me this
so effortless
to swing around the words

and hurl back
reloaded perfect inescapable
sticky word shit

can't get that crap off
and if Einstein can think
fast enough to return fire

then damn son
both barrels fully automatic
buck shot and salt

limping days after
having lost the power of speech
and lucky me

with true friends
thick and thin by your side
grateful for you

laying down cover in the war of words
that leave running wounds for years after
if no one says "enough"

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  #2  
Old 07-03-2017, 10:30 PM
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really creative, u!
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  #3  
Old 07-04-2017, 04:16 PM
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This is cool although I can't help thinking it feels too long. But what would you lose? I wouldn't lose anything, I would make the lines longer, split into, say, four stanzas and give an impression that it is a shorter piece.


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Old 07-04-2017, 05:05 PM
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I'll give it some thought iDrew!
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Old 07-10-2017, 07:10 AM
KBR (Offline)
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I tried it in my mind and couldn't make it work. But I am storing up your remarks because I think a next level thing is in them for me. Thank you.

Originally Posted by iDrew View Post
This is cool although I can't help thinking it feels too long. But what would you lose? I wouldn't lose anything, I would make the lines longer, split into, say, four stanzas and give an impression that it is a shorter piece.


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