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What's With Old People

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  #1  
Old 04-17-2013, 08:08 AM
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..Specifically grand parents. One of my grand parents, due to not getting caught about writing something I cannot declare which one, is so stubborn and so stuck in their ways.

They don't like black cats due to suspicions, so they are part of the system that black cats cannot be adopted because of people stupidity. There should never be color discrimination amongst cats. Integrate now segregation never. [couldn't help myself]

They believe everything must be done their way. No matter how ridiculous it may be. This is their castle, and I must follow their dictatorship.

Last night for example. I'd like to talk to my relative and my relative in law too. I'm the quiet one out of my siblings. I don't talk often and people have made comments, several in fact of how I am the quiet child.

Yet, my grand parent wouldn't let me talk to my relative and relative in law. Despite them trying to bring me into the conversation, every time I did talk I was received really dark and horrible looks. Even though I do not monopolize conversations and am trying to be just a part of the conversation and not part of the furniture. I felt so awkward and felt hurt afterwards.

I cannot move out, since I'm living paycheck to paycheck. My necessities and groceries take nearly half my check and I don't have enough money to actually save. So I am working on getting a secondary job to be able to save those checks while spending on my paychecks from my first job for my necessities and groceries.

So I just have to deal without a say, without a word, without a thought. When it comes to company I am a ghost and part of the furniture because I am not allowed to talk because I am not letting my grand parent visit with their child. But their child was trying to incorporate me into the conversation.

I am not allowed to use the computer as often as I like, cause then I'm addicted to the computer.

I hate just vegging out on the TV. I mean I don't eat when I watch TV. But the TV to me is far more destructive than sitting on the computer writing and reading articles, novels.

I'm just so tired of old, racist, people. Who believe everything they say is right and that they cannot possibly be wrong. I am tired of the victim mentality that people are trying to take their child away or that people are not helping them out to spite them.

I don't understand what the fear of the dishwasher is exactly. At our house with my dad, we use the dishwasher and the dishes get washed perfectly fine. You do not have to do the dishes by hand, get with the times, quit being stubborn use the dishwasher. Or else don't complain.

You cannot complain about something you're actively involved with. If you're tired of scrubbing dishes everyday use the dishwasher. Or else don't complain. And of course people don't clean their dishes because it's always, that isn't how I do my dishes. I never use a sponge to clean my dishes. I use bleach when I wash the dishes.

Okay let people wash the dishes or again don't complain when they gave up on helping.

What's with old people?

They are driving me slightly insane and I am extremely frustrated so I wrote this thread so I don't explode. I don't think people realize I may be the quiet one, but I have the longest fuse out of my siblings too. But if they continue pushing me then I cannot fight what may come.

I'm just so tired of it. I'm tired of having to go against my own siblings too. Grand parent has a problem with one of my siblings and so I can look out for myself, especially since I was in such a bad situation before I got here, I have agreed with what she says so she can favor me in a good light. I know it's a terrible thing to do, but I cannot go back home. There is no life there for me at all.

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Old 04-17-2013, 09:06 AM
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Old people have it tough.

When you're a kid, the world is your oyster, and you're going to change the world. Big things are important, like stopping wars, ending poverty, that kind of stuff.

As you get older (and technology turns the world into a place you don't even recognise any more) you realise just how fucking impotent you are. 50 years can go by, and you have a government as shit as the one that sent your buddies to Korea or Vietnam or whatever. Wars still happen. People still starve.

Ever notice how older people can get wound up over small stuff? Like, really small stuff? Like the cellophane on CD covers, or how socks don't last how they used to?

This is because you reach a point in life where you realise that there is no point sweating over the big stuff. Getting angry about the small stuff is all you have left.
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Old 04-17-2013, 09:31 AM
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Been reading some of your other posts about your family situation... Sounds like it sucks. I've been in similar situation, not with grandparents, but other relatives. Seems I'm the worthless black sheep.

The only thing that stopped it for me was completely ignoring those dirty looks, and just finding a way to do things by myself. You can get some things for free with the right amount of effort, but, for the most part, it's just about toughing it out until you can fix the situation by getting away.

But, yeah, old people can be rotten, sometimes.
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Old 04-17-2013, 11:37 AM
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The scary part is they were once just like you! Mike's right, there is a reservior of frustration with the ignorance in action of your fellow humans that tend to get filled as life gets longer. Try to remember that it's their burden though, not yours. How do you avoid getting to be like them? You must learn to look through, past, and around the dumbassedness of daily life. There is amazing good in people, amazing beauty, and creativness all around us, but yes, it can hard to find.
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Old 04-17-2013, 07:09 PM
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Also note that a lot of old people like to play the senile old fool role.
My grandma emailed me a photograph of her computer monitor with a dialogue box saying 'PC power supply not connected'. Along with a little bit of text saying "I need you to come and fix my computer, I can't get it off this screen."
I plugged the power supply back into the tower and turned the computer on. She replied with,
"How did you do that?"
This comes from a 70+ year old retired woman who still does lawyering on the side and is otherwise in perfect mental condition. She is a whizz at computers compared to the average old person, but likes to cause trouble every now and again. She quite likes it when we joke about her being a senile old bat, though she acts very deadpan about it.
I'm not saying it's a negative thing though; if you can't mess with people with impunity when you're old, when can you?
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Old 04-18-2013, 05:25 AM
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Whilst I understand your situation is not great - your statement is up there with older people that moan about younger people. I grew up around older people and they vary hugely. You are complaining about two specific older people.

My grandmother would have been 106 this July and was an amazing lady. She got the hang of videos, sort of managed computers, could cope with a cash machine etc.

Alongside that she had all the skills that came with her age she could bake anything, knit a beautiful jumper in 24 hours, rewire and plumb anything, grow vegetables etc - everything she had needed to survive over the years. If she needed to do it then she learned how.

She loved her soaps, Dallas, Dynasty, Colby, Falcon Crest, Emmerdale Farm, Coronation Street etc she watched the lot.

Her language might have been a tad racist because of the time she was born and it was ingrained but her actions more than showed she was no bigot in any area of life. People moaned about travellers - she just gave them a meal, was pleasant and she never had a single bother. I saw her offer acts of kindness to people of all colours and creeds. Her only difficulty was Jehovah's Witness but that was because her best friend had died young having needed a blood transfusion. And she did struggle when my mother took up with another woman but she changed her mind later. (For a woman in her late 80s at the time I thought was amazing). There is a story about my grandfather getting ready for a funeral and looking for his best coat. Apparently she had given it to a tramp because he needed one and my grandfather had only worn it three times in thirty years lol.

She was no saint - running a pub during a WW2 she could be a tough old bird when she had to be. She knew her way round the black market, refused to evacuate her daughter to strangers, never used an air raid shelter. Men were not allowed to leave her pub penniless and totally drunk on payday, she took their pay packets off them and apportioned it out, then gave the rest to their wives. Her desire to make sure they soaked up the alcohol meant she served the first pub lunches in Liverpool (we believe).

My friends adored my gran and used to go round and visit her. She confided in me when I was eighteen that she hated children. (Her two daughters were born eighteen years apart).

She'd wanted to be an archaeologist but having been born on the back streets of Liverpool in the Edwardian era it was never going to happen.

Old people can be amazing but it involves listening.

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Old 04-18-2013, 06:28 AM
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What Anya says makes a lot of sense. You're in two very different places. Remember your grandparents have turned that lives upside down to accomodate you, your generations apart and sometimes people on both sides simply don't see the bigger picture.

Your grandparents are probably very protective of you, which can come across as controlling. Maybe they are cautious that they've got a parental role to fill when they're not your parents.

It's very difficult to make comments about your situation as we don't know it as intimately as you do. But try to look at the silver linings. Many sibling units are split up and put into care, and reading through comments by you and your siblings, you're incredibly lucky to have family there for you.

As a child of significantly older parents myself, can I asked if you have tried just sitting down and talking with your grandparents, reminding them of where you are at in life and what it's acceptable for a child your age to be doing. That the TV is now considered less educational than a computer, and that computers are now more acceptable ways of socialising and a great tool to have under your belt when applying for jobs.

Could anyone from school intervene and maybe help provide relationship counselling for you all as a family unit, to put things across to your grandparents from adult to adult, which they sound like they are more likely to accept

As a parent of two children (not even teenagers yet) who only one grandparent left, I just want you to cherish the relationship you have with them and look for the good stuff. You never know how long you all have together.
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Old 04-18-2013, 10:02 AM
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Well, since we're reminiscing, and sharing information about grandparents to show that they're not all bad.
My grandmother is pretty great, considering her upbringing, she could've been a horrible old person, but she managed to avoid the pitfalls of a rich kid; she was born at the start of WWII, and her family moved to South Africa immediately after it ended. The family owned a lot of land (like, a lot) and were very rich. She was shipped off to an expensive boarding school and only visited her family during the summer, which was probably for the best, since this was during the apartheid, and white rich folks in South Africa at the time weren't the most tolerant bunch, to put it mildly.
So, she grew up without the racist streak a couple of my older family members acquired while living out there, meaning, when she danced with black guys (and I'm guessing she did more than dance), her family wasn't all that happy about it.
Although, they were probably happier with her life choices than her brother's.
He was running guns across the border for pretty much anyone who payed him to. And, well, that all got a little bit out of hand, and the family was kindly offered the option to leave the country. At gunpoint. They pretty much cut their losses with the land they owned, and returned to their old home in London. My grandmother got pregnant with my mother (the father being a proper Englishman who was by all accounts a regular 60s male stereotype, equipped with brill-creamed hair and all.), and her brother went back to South Africa soon after to... ahem... settle his affairs. He stayed there a fair while on apparently unrelated business.
So, G-ma and G-pa divorced, and my grandmother got most of the control over the kids (duh, this was the 70s). She became a lawyer, and has been taking exactly no shit for the last forty years. She's always been kind, difficult, and a little bit air-headed (when she wants to be).

It's not all old people, ST, some are just more bitter than others.

I use bleach when I wash the dishes.
That's inadvisable, just use washing up liquid, dude.

also, why can't you live with your dad? He sounds less difficult.
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Old 04-18-2013, 10:42 AM
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Maybe get them to talk to you about their childhood, what it was like for them growing up, their parents and their grandparents. It may help you understand them better. However with my mother I am very aware some family relationships just aren't salvageable.

However, I do not use a dishwasher for a variety of reasons.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Front&Centre View Post
That's inadvisable, just use washing up liquid, dude.

also, why can't you live with your dad? He sounds less difficult.
Grandma is the one who uses bleach. He was listing the comments she says when we wash the dishes. She doesn't let us be.

See our grandmother believes that anyone is trying to argue with her. No matter how calm and adult you talk to her.

Like last night:

Grandma zooms in the TV.

Me, "It got fuzzy" [just making a passing comment]

Grandma, "I don't like the black lines on the TV,"

Uncle, "But mom it's fuzzy and to zoomed in,"

Grandma, "This is what I am watching and this is how I like it. If you don't want to watch it the way I like then you don't have to watch."

Uncle leaves

We stay, but after that grandma gave us dark looks.

Like we cannot even discuss the zoom feature. Which everyone agrees makes the TV blocked and cut off.

We cannot discuss anything without grandma wanting to get her way.

And the reason we're not with our dad is very very complicated situation. Well it isn't super complicated. In a nutshell:

-Dad and the woman who gave birth to us divorced
-Dad meets new woman
-New woman is trying to kick dad's kids out of the nest so to say, so her own kids can be provided for
-At home life became very uncomfortable and very hard to live

My dad is also not a very good person. My dad may sound less difficult, but he was always an emotional bully. He always emotionally bullied into his way of thinking.

My dad has never provided emotional support and always has been super realistic and logical.

He even crossed a line as a parent that I won't forgive him for.

edit-

Our grandmother's mother was a drunk and alcoholic. She was very controlling and very strict. So our grandmother is the same way. Not an alcoholic. However...another thing.

Magic the Gathering, I love to collect and play Magic the Gathering.

Now neither of my brother can buy the cards. Because grandmom says her mother would have never let her play that game. They are demon cards. We're wasting our time on demon cards, etc.

So now me and my brother avoid buying any of the booster packs. And we took our Magic the Gathering cards to my aunt's house because of it.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:56 PM
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how old are you guys, ballpark?
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Old 04-18-2013, 02:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Front&Centre View Post
how old are you guys, ballpark?
I'm 20.

Swampy is older than me 20+ range.
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Old 04-18-2013, 07:46 PM
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So, why again does she have a say in what you do with your spare time? It doesn't exactly sound like you like her (and that's probably for the best), but there's something dysfunctional going on when you're sitting there agreeing to act like small children simply for her (perceived) benefit.

I have a history with similar types of abuse, and for my own reasons I'm going to stay out of your family discussions from now on. Please don't take offense. I'm sure you are both wonderful people, just very, very lost. My apologies and sympathies. I sincerely hope you get to a happier situation someday.
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Old 04-18-2013, 08:10 PM
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Swamp is your sibling and you dont know his/her age? Weird.

Twenty means get a an apartment, in another post you said you were 3 of you... Yeah. Get a job, apartment, something, go in all together and rent a flat, hole the wall, van by the river...

How old are your grandparents even? I bet mine are older and Ive learned to appreciate every little senile bit of them because I learned all too young people die, and its terrible to not enjoy them before that.

What is with this "dark look" issue? You are adults and if you are being treated like children take a hike.... Yes really. I moved out at 16 with three jobs only one that paid minimum wage.

This issue keeps getting posted about making me doubt that there really is three of you (as you all sound alike which siblings usually are light years apart in how they sound/write) and also makes me doubt the supposed age as well. Think like 13.

I think I get irritated because all of these adults you biatch about are working and feeding and sheltering you, and they are giving dark looks at their worst from what it sounds like you have a friggin paradise.
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Old 04-18-2013, 10:35 PM
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Cal says it all, Snicket.

Magic the Gathering, I love to collect and play Magic the Gathering.

Now neither of my brother can buy the cards. Because grandmom says her mother would have never let her play that game. They are demon cards. We're wasting our time on demon cards, etc.
Granny wont let us play with our toys, so we took our toys to
aunties house...

And you have a wicked stepmother too, huh?

Like Cal says. Move out. And if your answer to that is "yeah, but..." I don't want to hear it. Either change your life or stop complaining about it.
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Old 04-19-2013, 07:54 AM
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Originally Posted by calligraphy View Post
Swamp is your sibling and you dont know his/her age? Weird.

Twenty means get a an apartment, in another post you said you were 3 of you... Yeah. Get a job, apartment, something, go in all together and rent a flat, hole the wall, van by the river...

How old are your grandparents even? I bet mine are older and Ive learned to appreciate every little senile bit of them because I learned all too young people die, and its terrible to not enjoy them before that.

What is with this "dark look" issue? You are adults and if you are being treated like children take a hike.... Yes really. I moved out at 16 with three jobs only one that paid minimum wage.

This issue keeps getting posted about making me doubt that there really is three of you (as you all sound alike which siblings usually are light years apart in how they sound/write) and also makes me doubt the supposed age as well. Think like 13.

I think I get irritated because all of these adults you biatch about are working and feeding and sheltering you, and they are giving dark looks at their worst from what it sounds like you have a friggin paradise.
Swampy doesn't like his age being placed on the internet. Maybe you should think before you speak really.

And if you did read the other threads we both have jobs. I have a job as a cashier for Carls Jr.

We're searching out for a second job. And we're going to lease a car for three years too.

But you cannot just magically expect things to get done. You're the kind of people who think, oh how easy it is. Yet you really have no idea. You left at sixteen good for you.

You really don't know what it is like. Or maybe you do and refuse to actually understand it.

It isn't that I don't know what to do or how it happens. But really Swampy and I write these kind of threads to vent.

You know for being people who have been through similiar situations, you don't seem to remember how it goes.

-There are those people who after being in abusive family situation, mental or physical. Seek out the next person who will abuse him

-There are those who have their own insecurities and they lack self confidence and self esteem. Instead they go out to avoid pain and people please and kiss ass

-There are those who fully recover from it and forge their own life

-Then there are those who live their life chronically lying

I'm only trying to get out of the second habit. I people please. I avoid pain and I avoid people who are mad at me. Especially people who are my family. I let them walk all over like a welcome mat. I already know this. I already know that I don't like to make the people I love angry no matter how shitty they treated me.

Because it's what I learned since I was very young. My mother struck me and hit me, she mentally and physically abused me. To make punishment, pain, and anything she threw at me less I pleased her. I tried to ease her anger. I tried to talk down to her.

You also for being oh so smart and adult, don't seem to understand the science of an unhealthy family relationship on child mental development either. I admit when it comes to these things I am not always adult like. I know this. But I have always developed that side of myself very late. I'm slow when it comes to that kind of development, I know this already.

I know every flaw you point out of myself. Every little dent and crack.

Just because I behave like a child doesn't make me an idiot. Sometimes people simply want to vent. And instead what happens is people can be such assholes instead.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:18 AM
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I always have to seem swoop in. For future note I will not be placing anything of my life on the internet. This just seems to cause problems for everyone and I rather not have to come over and cleanup the messes my brother leaves behind.

First off I'd like to apologize if I offended anyone with the generalization of older folks. Simply my grandparents are old, thus they are old people. I'm aware that there are some good old people out there. I have a woman who is in her sixties, who I know from where I use to volunteer for an environmental conservation group. She's always been like a secondary grandmother to me because our mother's grandparents never wanted anything to do with us.

She is a smart lady and allowed me to talk and vent when I need to. See I have a very long fuse, but my fuse can be lit and I build everything inside of me. Which makes me the quiet one and the one you do not want to anger at the same time. I have a very nasty temper, that I try to keep under control for the most part. So I just have to discuss what goes on my mind. Though I will now in the future refrain from doing this on WB. Instead I will simply PM those who are interested in friendship and listening to me.

Secondly, it's very hard to become an adult sometimes. It's hard to develop and expecting people to know how to become one isn't always as easy as it seems. Calligraphy your situation meant you had to grow up very fast in your life. You left at sixteen and from there you were responsible to yourself. Which meant that you had to become an adult quicker.

Both my brother and I have had a late start in life. I got my credit card later than most kids. I got my job later than most adults. I left California, not simply because of my home situation. More or so for Snicket. But in California I tried everyday. I put in an application, I called them back, I networked. I only either landed volunteer work which looks good on a resume, but doesn't really help me. Or I landed no job.

Both me and Snicket came to Colorado due to the fact that there was a job here for us in Colorado. Our uncle set us up a job at Carls Jr. We both work there and we both are getting money. But apartments take time and money. I still have to pay for groceries for me and my brother.

That's nearly half my paycheck swallowed by necessities. One job alone isn't going to cut it, so I have the both of seeking out a second job.

Apartments here are not cheap and not easy to come by. They still have to be close to our work, but affordable.

These things take time. And the environment, economy and all may be different than the environment you were in Calligraphy.

When peering into someone's life, you must determine the factors that have changed from the situation you were in.

Thirdly, I tend to write these threads as a generalization. Not truly for any advice, simply because I need to get what is eating away at me off of me chest. I do not like putting to much personal issues online. I find these kind of situations which this thread was about, people can generalize with and understand. But there are other parts of my personal life I like to keep off the internet. So you won't understand the need for my therapy threads.

To write threads like this allows me to clear out my frustrations and then from there I can move unto the right path. It allows me to see clearly when I'm not clouded by my bitterness.

Fourthly, about the magic cards. Because I felt like bringing it up. It doesn't have to be a grandparent. But have ever watched a movie with someone or was playing a game with someone who was constantly criticizing said movie or said game while you were trying to enjoy your entertainment. After a while it does take out the joy of the game or the movie. Sometimes we have to be more sensible as to why someone may want to do something other than the underline surface they pointed out.

And I think that I could share some insight into the home before I take my leave with this response.

Everyone in this house is hiding. My grandfather spends most of his time in his bedroom. My aunt spends most of her time in the bedroom. Everyone in this house seeks to please my grandmother. When my grandmother leaves, everyone comes out of the woodworks.

Sometimes it's like when we were back at home in California, when it came to my family. First we hid from our mother. If she said "Hello, are you here?" we knew she was happy and had a good day at work and it was okay to come out of rooms. If she yelled we knew she had a bad day and we had to ease her to make her less so.

Then we hid from our father and his girlfriend. Because they made us uncomfortable and our dad changed. He became a man I no longer recognize nor respect or admire as I use to.

My aunt who is married, says I left a prison to an even worse prison.

My father doesn't visit my grandmother because of her control, and her behavior.

Even my married aunt doesn't like to go to grandma's house because of her control and her behavior.

Everyone here doesn't have joy.

My aunt who is married told me my grandmother use to like arts and crafts. She use to dance around and read books. And then she changed she became really bitter.

She says books are stupid and hates to go to bookstores. She says she doesn't know how we can like nerdy shit and she doesn't understand my writing. She insults my aunt and her husband, calling them users. But then when she talks you hear about the many things my married aunt bought her, and the many less things my grandmother bought for my aunt.

Material items, possession, status, and control is all my grandmother cares about these days. It rules her roost. And everyone here to even have a peaceful life, kisses her ass and please her.

Because you cannot bite the hand that feeds. She is giving us a stay at her home. So we have to live under her iron thumb.

At least until we can get our feet up.

That's the way it goes sometimes in life.

I'm sorry again if I offended anyone. And I am sorry I didn't want to start any fights. Yet they seem to come up, whenever I make these threads.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:26 AM
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Snicket :I cant buy that you have these problems and self diagnose them all. A truly ingrained disorder or complex does not always come with some sort of clarity. I can tell you it WILL come to the light of day by you talking about your problems to perfect strangers who have no problem correcting you.... Like here, or maybe starbucks.

To break it down as you did just means you think way too much about yourself, your problems, and somehow need to show and tell and compare them to others. That is unhealthy, Ok, so THAT disorder you may not be aware of so I gave you a diagnosis for free on that one. Youre welcome.

Unfortunately its a diagnosis of selfishness. yep. We all have it. me too, yep. We think WE are the victim unless we fight that down and remind ourselves its not about us, its not about us, its not about us. So much of our worth should be for ability to be part of something larger than our next meal, new hat, what have you. Society can only get better by you being an active healthy giver.

How to do that?

Gain perspective. Feed the homeless. Give to a charity. Go out and travel, see the world. Meet different people and really appreciate them. Help your grandmother out and be gracious and tell her thank you for always giving you a place to go and obvious support of most things maybe just not your writing. If she wants you to not play games in her house, then dont. do. it. Eventually you will have your own house and your own rules, but for the moment you will live without your games and other things, I promise.

These are small problems in a world FULL of large ones. Read more stories about war ridden countries and the survivors of these places and hug your siblings for the fact that they are not being blown up.

Learn about real issues.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:31 AM
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Swamp: You have not offended anyone but your situation is not special. Let me repeat that ITS NOT. Many of us were raised in the statistics (single parent, no parent, grandparent).

Im sure we all have a story to tell. The problem with your postings is that you write as though your situation is tougher than others and on a scale of 1-10, 10 being raped and physically abused and one being average, "Dark Looks" is a negative 3.

We try to be helpful whenever we can but I think for the most part growing you up a bit (rubbing some dirt on it) is the best help you can have at the moment.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Swamp Thing View Post
Thirdly, I tend to write these threads as a generalization. Not truly for any advice, simply because I need to get what is eating away at me off of me chest. I do not like putting to much personal issues online. I find these kind of situations which this thread was about, people can generalize with and understand. But there are other parts of my personal life I like to keep off the internet. So you won't understand the need for my therapy threads.
Swamp, have you ever considered writing the threads but never posting them? It is the same process, you get the frustration out there, but no one can have a say in the matter, nor will they feel the need to. Keeping a journal may be a good idea. I know a few people who do the same. Writing messages on the computer is good because you can delete them after, but a journal is handy to carry around and vent whenever you need to.

Also, if you are having finance issues -- owning pets and credit cards is a really bad idea. Do some research, budget, and own what you can afford. For example, leasing a car will massively impact your ability to rent. I've been saving up for years for my horse. I still can't afford it yet, but I am networking and applying for jobs so I can eventually earn what I want. But I don't drive and I don't have a credit card, I can't afford them all. Get together with your siblings and make a budget / plan for the future. Yes, the future might not work as you want it, but planning might make things easier -- it could, at least, give you a semblance of control. As Calli says, many of us have had similar experiences. We understand, we just deal with it in different ways.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Loz View Post
Swamp, have you ever considered writing the threads but never posting them? It is the same process, you get the frustration out there, but no one can have a say in the matter, nor will they feel the need to. Keeping a journal may be a good idea. I know a few people who do the same. Writing messages on the computer is good because you can delete them after, but a journal is handy to carry around and vent whenever you need to.

Also, if you are having finance issues -- owning pets and credit cards is a really bad idea. Do some research, budget, and own what you can afford. For example, leasing a car will massively impact your ability to rent. I've been saving up for years for my horse. I still can't afford it yet, but I am networking and applying for jobs so I can eventually earn what I want. But I don't drive and I don't have a credit card, I can't afford them all. Get together with your siblings and make a budget / plan for the future. Yes, the future might not work as you want it, but planning might make things easier -- it could, at least, give you a semblance of control. As Calli says, many of us have had similar experiences. We understand, we just deal with it in different ways.

Our grandmother is taking us everywhere. She's driving us around and everything everywhere.

And the problem is she has all these silly rules:

-When the sun was up yesterday and the roads melted, she wouldn't take us to the library. She won't let me walk either it's to far.

-She doesn't like to go out during any cold or even light snow

We need to get around. My brother and I need to get our groceries. We need the ability to go out and get our necessities and our needs. We need to be able to make our own appointments.

And before you talk about cabs and buses. That cost a bit. And there are no bus stops around us. It's a pretty far walk. So we'd have to walk something like 10 miles past the high school for a bus stop.

Our grandmother says she doesn't like to go out and about. Which is true. If it doesn't benefit her. If it's something someone else wants it's always an excuse.

It's been hard to priotize things. But we need the ability to freely get around. Without putting burden on grandma.

@Calligraphy: Are you some sort of idiot? I wonder sometimes. Because that wasn't a diagnosis of any mental condition. Or any form of mental dissection of self diagnosis. That as simply the four things that can happen when a child is abused and a child is bullied by their peers. There are thousand and thousand of studies. That state a child's development can be compromised when they are abused. It isn't a diagnosis, it simply is the case.

I have always been slower than most people.

-It took me three tries to be able to pass my Motorcycle license

-It took me three tries to pass the Motorcycle safety class

-I only learn my lesson after a few years of making the same mistakes

It isn't a diagnosis. And it isn't anything about my own mental condition of a disorder.
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Old 04-19-2013, 09:05 AM
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Originally Posted by calligraphy View Post
Swamp: You have not offended anyone but your situation is not special. Let me repeat that ITS NOT. Many of us were raised in the statistics (single parent, no parent, grandparent).

Im sure we all have a story to tell. The problem with your postings is that you write as though your situation is tougher than others and on a scale of 1-10, 10 being raped and physically abused and one being average, "Dark Looks" is a negative 3.

We try to be helpful whenever we can but I think for the most part growing you up a bit (rubbing some dirt on it) is the best help you can have at the moment.
My apologies. I never meant to come across this way. In truth all I ever do, and this is also directed at you too Loz. Is that I wanted some support. Not that people need to give me advice or fix my problems.

However, sometimes it's nice to talk to people and get some support. I'm still new here in Colorado, I don't have a lot of people to confide in. Even though my aunt the one who isn't married and lives here, understand the situation with her mother. You still have to be careful in this house.

Both my Uncle and Aunt are ass kissers and will tell what you say sometimes to grandma.

So I really don't have very many people to speak to. So for right now this is all I have.

I never meant to make my situation sound worse than others. I didn't mean to make it sound as if I was comparing or making my situation worse.

I simply am lost and that is fine. We all are.
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Old 04-19-2013, 09:27 AM
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The more you type (both of supposed yous), the younger I picture LOL

A la Benjamin Button, you'll soon be in diapers if this continues.

If you actually are old enough to vote, I would ask that you hold off a bit until you are settled.


Loz: Side note! Ive had horses my entire life (mostly). Until recently I decided when we started to look at houses I need to take a break and so I am ALSO in the saving for a horse catagory, but lucky enough to train for a barn right now and use one. I think once we move I am actually going to lease one from a friend of a friend (trying to get my medals and scores).
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Old 04-19-2013, 09:44 AM
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That's so cool I wanted to train with horses before I buggered my knee. I did get to work with horses in the Seychelles for a while which was fun -- although they used to try and roll on the sand with riders on their back, not so safe So now, me and hubby are saving for a chunky, safe cob that we can share for hacking and popping a little fence.

Back on the conversation of old people, I had a rather crazy nan. I loved her to bits, but she was crazy. She had alzeimers and dimentia, which sometimes made me giggle because she'd say the offest of things, but it was stressful too. We had to be really careful when she was having a bad episode and had no idea where she was or who we were. Though, has anyone seen the documentary with Terry Pratchett trekking through swamplands? I was so suprised to see how different his alzeimers was. He was pretty inspiring as an oldie. Made me realise the scope and difference out there.
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Old 04-19-2013, 10:01 AM
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Originally Posted by calligraphy View Post
The more you type (both of supposed yous), the younger I picture LOL
The more you type the dumber you seem to get.
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Old 04-19-2013, 10:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Swamp Thing View Post
..Specifically grand parents. One of my grand parents, due to not getting caught about writing something I cannot declare which one, is so stubborn and so stuck in their ways.

They don't like black cats due to suspicions, so they are part of the system that black cats cannot be adopted because of people stupidity. There should never be color discrimination amongst cats. Integrate now segregation never. [couldn't help myself]

They believe everything must be done their way. No matter how ridiculous it may be. This is their castle, and I must follow their dictatorship.

Last night for example. I'd like to talk to my relative and my relative in law too. I'm the quiet one out of my siblings. I don't talk often and people have made comments, several in fact of how I am the quiet child.

Yet, my grand parent wouldn't let me talk to my relative and relative in law. Despite them trying to bring me into the conversation, every time I did talk I was received really dark and horrible looks. Even though I do not monopolize conversations and am trying to be just a part of the conversation and not part of the furniture. I felt so awkward and felt hurt afterwards.

I cannot move out, since I'm living paycheck to paycheck. My necessities and groceries take nearly half my check and I don't have enough money to actually save. So I am working on getting a secondary job to be able to save those checks while spending on my paychecks from my first job for my necessities and groceries.

So I just have to deal without a say, without a word, without a thought. When it comes to company I am a ghost and part of the furniture because I am not allowed to talk because I am not letting my grand parent visit with their child. But their child was trying to incorporate me into the conversation.

I am not allowed to use the computer as often as I like, cause then I'm addicted to the computer.

I hate just vegging out on the TV. I mean I don't eat when I watch TV. But the TV to me is far more destructive than sitting on the computer writing and reading articles, novels.

I'm just so tired of old, racist, people. Who believe everything they say is right and that they cannot possibly be wrong. I am tired of the victim mentality that people are trying to take their child away or that people are not helping them out to spite them.

I don't understand what the fear of the dishwasher is exactly. At our house with my dad, we use the dishwasher and the dishes get washed perfectly fine. You do not have to do the dishes by hand, get with the times, quit being stubborn use the dishwasher. Or else don't complain.

You cannot complain about something you're actively involved with. If you're tired of scrubbing dishes everyday use the dishwasher. Or else don't complain. And of course people don't clean their dishes because it's always, that isn't how I do my dishes. I never use a sponge to clean my dishes. I use bleach when I wash the dishes.

Okay let people wash the dishes or again don't complain when they gave up on helping.

What's with old people?

They are driving me slightly insane and I am extremely frustrated so I wrote this thread so I don't explode. I don't think people realize I may be the quiet one, but I have the longest fuse out of my siblings too. But if they continue pushing me then I cannot fight what may come.

I'm just so tired of it. I'm tired of having to go against my own siblings too. Grand parent has a problem with one of my siblings and so I can look out for myself, especially since I was in such a bad situation before I got here, I have agreed with what she says so she can favor me in a good light. I know it's a terrible thing to do, but I cannot go back home. There is no life there for me at all.

How about the spoiled young people who think they know everything,
who have no gratitude for the many things they have given...
and constantly bitch about everything???

It's not a matter of age, it's a matter of perspective, I have rarely seen old people with as many complaints about EVERYTHING as you seem to have.

Perhaps it would be helpful if you could get a counsellor to talk to, who can help you to sort things out ?
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Old 04-20-2013, 06:33 AM
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Like Cal says. Move out. And if your answer to that is "yeah, but..." I don't want to hear it.
agreed.
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