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The Art Of Winter

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  #1  
Old 12-05-2017, 04:18 PM
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Default The Art Of Winter


Atwixt flippant judgments— overly dazzling,
Glamorous first snow pours again and again
With partly charmed quivers in the splendid air;
One pewter cloak skews gelid, barbed doorways—
Advent crosswise with pompous, sparkling chinooks.

Overcome with macabre guilt, the meddling
Ochroid diadem flitters over a cryptic, ravished majesty
With its clement expression that conveys rays without elation.
Deathless puzzles carry gilded stars, circling around the diagonal fir trees.
They wonder if the comely flowers will peel off their blithe, ermine pageantry.—

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Old 12-06-2017, 11:52 AM
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"Mom! Chat's hogging all the adjectives again."

" Be nice son. You haven't been using them much lately anyway."
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Old 12-08-2017, 08:38 PM
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Old Yesterday, 01:12 PM
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I don't know why but on my second reading of a poem, I get it and like it. This is so fine! I only wonder at the end, are the snowflakes the flowers or are the snowflakes falling onto old flowers. Sorry for my misunderstanding. You write so well.
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Old Yesterday, 03:09 PM
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it's indeed a lovely poem. i really enjoy thee words.
although i might suggest after having gone through a second read, subtract a few punctuation, perhaps a couple commas here and there.

the one after 'pompous' 'cryptic' 'ermine'
and then you use a period and --- at the end which is much, not sure on the editorials of that style.

I really enjoy this piece. I'd suggest it's cooked



Atwixt flippant judgments— overly dazzling,
Glamorous first snow pours again and again
With partly charmed quivers in the splendid air;
One pewter cloak skews gelid, barbed doorways—
Advent crosswise with pompous, sparkling chinooks.

Overcome with macabre guilt, the meddling
Ochroid diadem flitters over a cryptic, ravished majesty
With its clement expression that conveys rays without elation.
Deathless puzzles carry gilded stars, circling around the diagonal fir trees.
They wonder if the comely flowers will peel off their blithe, ermine pageantry.—
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