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Problems I Never Knew Existed

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Old 03-27-2018, 10:51 AM
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Default Problems I Never Knew Existed


The older I get the more my mind is completely blown by life on Earth. Sometimes, it's really amazing things like reading an article about this creature called a Tardigrade ("Water Bear") which is the closest thing to a real-life alien that I've ever seen. Just as often it's something ludicrous, like when I stumble across a story that addresses a problem that I never knew existed. Today, I found a U.S. News article, "Why You Should Stop Drinking Hand Sanitizer?" My head spins reading it. Had the headline read "Why You Shouldn't Drink Hand Sanitizer" I would have still found the article unnecessary, but I have to think that this is an actual problem or it would have never made it past an editor. "Why you should stop" implies that you're already doing it. We're not going to make it as a species, are we?

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Old 03-27-2018, 11:55 AM
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Tide pods
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Old 03-27-2018, 12:33 PM
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Are Tide pods or hand sanitizer any worse for you than tequila or heroin?




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Old 03-27-2018, 12:36 PM
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Tequilla yes, heroin no now excuse me I gotta take a shot
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Old 03-27-2018, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Are Tide pods or hand sanitizer any worse for you than tequila or heroin?




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Tequila is made from the agave plant, which is a natural antiseptic, anti-inflammatory, and wound-healer. Really, a shot of tequila is like going to the doctor.
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Old 03-27-2018, 01:50 PM
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That's quiet sad. A U.S. News article you say? Not the Onion?

You know, I bet you could write for that Onion funny article gig and they'd pay for some of that twisted humor. You really gotta be careful what articles you click on. I can't believe anyone would ever drink such, but then there was the 'bath-salt' crowd, those sickos. But that's what happens when cannabis is federally illegal --

Thank the gourds alcohol prohibition didn't last long and lesson should have been ingrained, but those poor bastards drank the weirdest crap when alcohol was outlawed. Intoxication should be safe as humans will always desire chemicals and that's actually 100% ancient dna quality, i think a pharmacist (might have to) agree

shit. you got a link to people drinking sanitizer?

Originally Posted by spshane View Post
The older I get the more my mind is completely blown by life on Earth. Sometimes, it's really amazing things like reading an article about this creature called a Tardigrade ("Water Bear") which is the closest thing to a real-life alien that I've ever seen. Just as often it's something ludicrous, like when I stumble across a story that addresses a problem that I never knew existed. Today, I found a U.S. News article, "Why You Should Stop Drinking Hand Sanitizer?" My head spins reading it. Had the headline read "Why You Shouldn't Drink Hand Sanitizer" I would have still found the article unnecessary, but I have to think that this is an actual problem or it would have never made it past an editor. "Why you should stop" implies that you're already doing it. We're not going to make it as a species, are we?
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Old 03-27-2018, 01:50 PM
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I've found that after 7 or 8 shots of tequila, there are diminishing health benefits.
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Old 03-27-2018, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Myers View Post
I've found that after 7 or 8 shots of tequila, there are diminishing health benefits.
There ya go then. Six is the optimum amount. Science!
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Old 03-27-2018, 02:00 PM
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I'll testy it tomorrow and give you guys the verdict. Tequila makes me happy
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Old 03-27-2018, 02:00 PM
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Originally Posted by spshane View Post
There ya go then. Six is the optimum amount. Science!
Maybe. That's just the point where I lose track.
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Old 03-27-2018, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by daes13 View Post
I'll testy it tomorrow and give you guys the verdict. Tequila makes me happy
I'm allergic. Whenever I drink alcohol, I break out in handcuffs.
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Old 03-27-2018, 02:13 PM
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The only time I've ever been thrown out of a bar in my life I was drinking tequila. I was at a seminar in Louisville, Kentucky. Some of the people I was with said they wanted to go to this bar called "the Coyote". I went with them and someone got the great idea we should do shots of tequila. I think they were ready to throw me out anyway, because I was loud and I fell down twice on my way to the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom, I walked over to where they had this big stuffed coyote. I squated down on all fours and started howling at it. "Come on, ya bitch!" I shouted at it. "Say something!" And howled a little bit more.

Then, a group of about six bouncers came to chat. To quote Ron White, "I don't know how many of them it would have took to whoop my ass, but I knew how many they were gonna use."
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Old 03-27-2018, 06:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Myers View Post
I'm allergic. Whenever I drink alcohol, I break out in handcuffs.


You used up all your religious points too early. That’s why I recently quit drinking, ‘cause Jeebus told me my points were running low. I wanted to save the last few for when my youngest moves out and I can start smoking weed again. These fucking saints got you coming and going.


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Old 03-29-2018, 03:22 PM
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Heh. I just got back from L.A. -- man, I really was tempted by the idea of those edibles -- cuz I never really liked smoking.

I actually went so far as scheming about how I could do it -- but I came to my senses pretty quick.

I know me -- I get high on anything and there's a good chance that maybe sooner than later, I'll be sleeping under a bridge.
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Old 03-29-2018, 03:33 PM
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Originally Posted by spshane View Post
The only time I've ever been thrown out of a bar in my life I was drinking tequila. I was at a seminar in Louisville, Kentucky. Some of the people I was with said they wanted to go to this bar called "the Coyote". I went with them and someone got the great idea we should do shots of tequila. I think they were ready to throw me out anyway, because I was loud and I fell down twice on my way to the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom, I walked over to where they had this big stuffed coyote. I squated down on all fours and started howling at it. "Come on, ya bitch!" I shouted at it. "Say something!" And howled a little bit more.

Then, a group of about six bouncers came to chat. To quote Ron White, "I don't know how many of them it would have took to whoop my ass, but I knew how many they were gonna use."
I was politely asked to leave a few establishments with some physical assistance a time or two.

I think there's some mythology around tequila -- something suggestive or placebo-like about it that affects people's behavior -- alcohol is alcohol.
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Old 03-29-2018, 04:37 PM
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Joe Nichols sings a song about Tequila.
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Old 03-29-2018, 05:02 PM
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A country song about tequila -- who'da thunk it?
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Old 03-29-2018, 06:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Myers View Post
I was politely asked to leave a few establishments with some physical assistance a time or two.



I think there's some mythology around tequila -- something suggestive or placebo-like about it that affects people's behavior -- alcohol is alcohol.


Not sure about tequila... it seems to hit you a little later than say vodka or whiskey. Every time I’ve drunk it there’s a delayed effect. One minute you’re fine and the next... black-out. I think those Mexicans have some funny secret.


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Old 03-29-2018, 07:18 PM
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I'd be surprised if there's any science to back that up.

I thinks it's more about the environment and the way people drink tequila -- usually shots.

I've heard people say the same things about Jagermeister or those fancy mixed shots or Long Island Ice tea -- the things people drink when they want to party and get fucked up.

Pretty sure it's all about the alcohol content, the rate of consumption -- and people's expectations.
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Old 03-30-2018, 12:32 AM
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Lost my dad's car on tequila one night, when I was in high school. Found it three days later stuck in a rut on an over-grown logging road I had no recollection of being on that night (hell, I had no recollection of being on that mountain that night).

Haven't drank a lot of it since.

Except for the liter of mezcal I got in Tijuana for ninety-six cents, with a worm in the bottom of the bottle.

Woke up blind in one eye. Took three days for my sight to come back.

Coulda been the worm, that time. Or the liter of tequila it took to get to it.

I don't know. I didn't repeat the experiment.
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Old 03-30-2018, 07:48 AM
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I understand the "alcohol is alcohol" crowd, but what they're really saying is that they'd like to do further studies. If it were simply a matter of behavior, I'd be inclined to agree with it. But then science has the burden of trying to explain "whiskey dick". It's more than ALC percentages, because there's no such thing as "rum dick," "gin dick," "copious amounts of wine dick". It's specifically whiskey dick.
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Old 03-30-2018, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by spshane View Post
I understand the "alcohol is alcohol" crowd, but what they're really saying is that they'd like to do further studies. If it were simply a matter of behavior, I'd be inclined to agree with it. But then science has the burden of trying to explain "whiskey dick". It's more than ALC percentages, because there's no such thing as "rum dick," "gin dick," "copious amounts of wine dick". It's specifically whiskey dick.


It’s called whiskey dick, but any heavy drinking can cause or contribute to erectile dysfunction.


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Old 03-31-2018, 12:49 AM
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Never heard of whiskey dick -- I thought it might have something to do with sex and a lack of judgement. Along the lines of beer goggles...

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Old 03-31-2018, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Myers View Post
Never heard of whiskey dick -- I thought it might have something to do with sex and a lack of judgement. Along the lines of beer goggles...


Apparently not. If all alcohol gave you erectile dysfunction I might not have children. At least, the first two. Nope, no... not the third one either. I should have named my kids Jack, Jim, and Bud.


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Old 04-02-2018, 10:14 AM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Apparently not. If all alcohol gave you erectile dysfunction I might not have children. At least, the first two. Nope, no... not the third one either. I should have named my kids Jack, Jim, and Bud.


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I do have a child with the same name as popular club drug.
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Old 04-02-2018, 07:44 PM
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You did not name a child Ecstasy.

Or Ethyl.
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Mr. Ed said I should use his signature, since he's not anymore. In honor of his good friend Nok, here it is: "As far as smoking a cigar," she said, "I'd not know where to start or how to start." "It's simple," said I, "You light one end and chew on the other and hope to meet in the middle."
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Old 04-02-2018, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
You did not name a child Ecstasy.

Or Ethyl.


I’ll guess “Molly”


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Old 04-02-2018, 07:59 PM
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Whew.
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Mr. Ed said I should use his signature, since he's not anymore. In honor of his good friend Nok, here it is: "As far as smoking a cigar," she said, "I'd not know where to start or how to start." "It's simple," said I, "You light one end and chew on the other and hope to meet in the middle."
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Old 04-02-2018, 08:29 PM
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I was going to guess “blow,” but who names their kid blow?


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Old 04-02-2018, 08:47 PM
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That's so eighties, anyway.
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Mr. Ed said I should use his signature, since he's not anymore. In honor of his good friend Nok, here it is: "As far as smoking a cigar," she said, "I'd not know where to start or how to start." "It's simple," said I, "You light one end and chew on the other and hope to meet in the middle."
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