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  #1  
Old 04-09-2011, 01:42 AM
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Default Abracatdabra


Came home to find
my canary had crashed his cage
and
houdinied from a locked house

Must have been quite entertaining
to see this happen

The cat was still smiling

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Old 04-09-2011, 02:14 AM
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I think you've said you have parakeets too?

Feel sorry for the little canary. Aw.
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Old 04-09-2011, 03:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Nadja View Post
I think you've said you have parakeets too?

Feel sorry for the little canary. Aw.
Yeah, a pair of parakeets. Female's name is Cat Bait. The male is Feather Butt.


Wanna feel sorry? Feel sorry for the cat. That was the day he learned how to count to 9.



Easy PETA/ASPCA people. I ain't never had a cat.
Fer goodness sakes, I'm a writer. Calm down. Have a hamburger...er...veggie burger.

When they asked Alan Watts why he chose to be a vegetarian his response was "Because carrots can't scream as loudly as cows".
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Old 04-09-2011, 05:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
When they asked Alan Watts why he chose to be a vegetarian his response was "Because carrots can't scream as loudly as cows".
Perfectly good reason.

Although there is a terrifying story that Roald Dahl wrote, about a man who discovers that veggies also scream when they're uprooted - normally it's just the frequency is out of the hearing range of humans.

talking of humans, if vegetarians are people who eat veggies why aren't humanitarians people who eat ... oh, never mind.
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Old 04-09-2011, 09:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Nadja View Post
veggies also scream when they're uprooted - normally it's just the frequency is out of the hearing range of humans.
I believe Alan was aware of this fact. I certainly am.

Like the Deer Hunter said "I ain't a vegetarian but I sure do like eatin' them".
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Old 04-09-2011, 01:10 PM
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I've re-read this and I still feel sorry for the canary.
Parakeets are awesome too. Especially budgies.
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Old 04-09-2011, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Nadja View Post
I've re-read this and I still feel sorry for the canary.
Parakeets are awesome too. Especially budgies.
You might want to spread some of that sorrow towards the lettuce, peppers, onions and olives that needed to perish that I could live long enough to type this.

They stopped screaming long before they got to me. All I could do was cover their carcasses with my body. Tomorrow morning I intend to give them a proper sailor's burial.


Parakeets are different than Budgies?
Google time, Nick.
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Old 03-23-2018, 02:05 AM
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What kind of person writes stuff like this?
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Old 03-23-2018, 06:34 AM
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That's funny man. Love the ending. Wish the middle were longer, but then it wouldn't have the same zing. Got any more with a nailer?
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Old 03-25-2018, 03:33 AM
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no!
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Old 03-26-2018, 01:29 AM
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really nice work!
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Old 03-26-2018, 02:16 AM
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Originally Posted by chat bot View Post
no!
Ask not for whom the bird chirped.
The bird chirped for you.
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Old 03-28-2018, 08:49 PM
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no!
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Old 04-04-2018, 08:56 AM
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Feather remains?

How dare you have a bird and cat in the same house. I'm calling the Helivets whether you like it or not
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Old 04-04-2018, 02:11 PM
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[QUOTE=Beesauce

How dare you have a bird and cat in the same house.

[/QUOTE]

Not anymore.
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Old 04-04-2018, 03:30 PM
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A sailor's burial. Get your mind out of the loo, Nick.
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Old 04-05-2018, 02:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
A sailor's burial. Get your mind out of the loo, Nick.
I submit 'tis not my mind that necessitates my presence.
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