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What is the go with teenagers nowadays...?

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Old 09-26-2016, 04:54 AM
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Default What is the go with teenagers nowadays...?


"Dopey films that are just meant to fill another couple of hours of some over privileged Western teenager's large empty existence..."
-Alan Moore on Watchmen - the movie

Alan Moore knows exactly my thoughts on most subjects and states them better than I can, which is scary, because he is a self-confessed magician, who uses words to cast spells to alter people's consciousness. I don't believe I have any agency other than that allowed to me by Mr. Moore.

Which brings me to today's topic - teenagers. Teenagers usually seek emancipation, but in cutting the umbilical cord they are left with no meaningful existence and one they cannot create due to their immaturity; they have some idea that they want to be free, and that's about it.

The reason for this idea of freedom is IMO an evolutionary behavioural response related to leaving the natal nest. Females, are more frequently in this category IMO as humans are more closely related to the chimpanzee, in which the female leaves the natal nest. Perhaps IMO as to why mother and daughter are the more frequently conflicting familial relationship. Anyway, what the fuck am I talking about again...? Oh yes...

So what does fill the void for teenagers miserable existence nowadays?

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Old 09-26-2016, 05:34 AM
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One reason I ask this is because I have been doing some "research" for an up-and-coming book project that my boss pitched to me last week.

He was all like, "hey PickleBottom, I've got this idea for a book for teenagers"
And I'm all like, "aren't I an accountant?"
And he's all like, "fucked if I know, just write me the book"
And I'm all like, "any ideas on what you want this book to be about?"
And he's all like, "you know, the usual shit like prom queens or vampires"

I thought that I'd be a genius and join the words Vampire and Prom-queen together, but a cursory Internet search came up with 1,450,079 book titles of the same name.

So then I thought, this is an interesting trend, and when I get home that evening I turn on NetFlix and go to the category "teenage" and I get about 70,000 titles show up. The next eight minutes I spend watching one after the other after the other (I watched about 2 minutes of the first one, knew what was going to happen, and then fast forwarded the other 70,000 titles). And every single one of those fucking movies were exactly the same. Moore was right, teenagers are devoid of any meaningful existence, they are trapped within a by-product of a paradigm of a cliche, marketed as something "new" and "different".

I believe this all has something similar to it like telling the same jokes to people with Alzheimer's. The next crop of teens need to watch new versions of the same shit, and not the same thing that their parents (who they are trying to be free from) saw when they were teenagers.

So getting back to my teenage book, "Vampire Prom-Queen", there is a stratified taxonomy of students at a school, jocks, nerds, emos, token black people, the mentally retarded, the prom queens, etc, then there is this emo boy who wants to move out of his classification and into one of the prom queens.

But every reader will be all like, 'no way that's going to happen'

So he goes to Louisiana and gets bit on the neck by a Gothic vampire...
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Old 09-26-2016, 07:10 AM
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Originally Posted by PickleBottom View Post

So what does fill the void for teenagers miserable existence nowadays?
Same as always: masturbation.
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Old 09-26-2016, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted by flyingtart View Post
Same as always: masturbation.
Yes! Ha ha, and everyone knows a guy nick-named coca-cola-bottle-Steve as a result.

Back when I was a teenager I would read and watch stuff and be amazed to think that people actually created them, then I grew up, yet this same thought still frightens me. This is the reason there are conspiracy theories, because in reality Coca-cola-bottle-Steve is now an agent with the powers of prosecution. Few people will feel they are living in a secure society with their pubescent friends calling the shots. That is why they believe in reptile people instead.

What is true for teens is also true for all age groups, the individuals who make up the age group changes but the TV shows stay the same. My autobiography has already been written and lived by various other individuals, yet the experience seems new to me.
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Old 09-26-2016, 03:59 PM
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Well, we've got one who just qualifies. She's just 13 and she stays pretty busy. Some might say she's a bit of an overachiever.

She studies a lot; and then there's sports, dance, gymnastics etc.

People assume we push her, but the opposite is true. I'm like, quit anything anytime you want. Quit it all. Please. For God's sake, stay home and we can just watch T.V. It's exhausting.
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Old 09-27-2016, 04:43 PM
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There is always a generation that exists above that is laughing at your problems, that's why skulls grin.
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If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas
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