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Children of the Goat-King (short story)

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Old 02-11-2017, 08:25 AM
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Default Children of the Goat-King (short story)


Started writing this as a script; it sucked horribly. It was suggested that I try it as a short story; here it is.

---Start---
As near as he remembered, Caleb Cordoba noticed nothing out of the ordinary about the Blackburn place. A split-level with beige siding and a crooked cherry tree in the front lawn. No ceramic statues of mystical creatures. No sacramental altars. Just another house in a cul-de-sac that looked basically the same as every other house in the subdivision.
He stepped out of the truck into an oven. He checked his work order before unloading the mower onto the sidewalk. L&T. Lawn and trim. The front patch of lawn buzzed by in a blur of sweat. The mower idled behind him while he opened the side gate. The back yard appeared every bit as ordinary as the front. A row of hedges along the fence. An oak tree in the center. A bed of marigolds by the patio.
“Alright,” he said to himself. He turned toward his mower and, before he finished his step, pain seared in his right buttock.. “Mother...” He slid hand to his rear only to brush his fingers against something hard and spear-like.
Twisting around, his eyes fell upon a black goat, and “holy shit,” slipped out of his mouth.
The goat bleated and budded his horn into Caleb's crotch.
“What the...” Caleb cupped his groin and backed away from the goat. He flung the gate and it clanked shut behind him.
He reached into his pocket for his cellphone and dialed his supervisor.
“What's up, Cal? You about done over there?” Turner's voice blared from the cell phone.
“No... No, man.” Cal croaked. Pain evident in his voice.
“Jesus, you sound sick.”
“No...” Caleb glanced back at the gate. The goat nowhere to be seen. “Just got my nuts knocked in by a fucking goat.”
“What?” Turner's voice went up an octave. “A goat? You mean an actual fucking goat?”
“Yes, a goat! It's not funny.”
Turner's voice shook as he tried to hold back his laughing. “No. Shit, no! Man that's not funny at all.”
“I think he bit me too.” Caleb slid his hand to his butt and pulled back fingers covered with blood.
“Shit! He bit your nuts?”
“No... my ass.”
“Are you bleeding?”
“A little.”
“Well, head over to the E.R. to have it checked out.”
“Turner, you now I can't go into the E.R. They'll piss test me.”
“Yeah, but if you're injured.”
“Look, it's just a scratch. But ya gotta tell these assholes to do something about their goat!”
“Alright, I'll call them.”
“Okay, I”m out.”
Caleb ended the call and hobbled back to his truck. He opened the passenger door and pulled his first-aide kit from under the under the seat. Leaning into the cab, he pulled the back of his pants down enough to expose the wound. He tore an alcohol swab open with his teeth. He pressed it against his butt and blinding pain seared through his body. Wincing, he dropped the alcohol swab at once, but the cab of truck had already begun to fade.
A helpless moan rose from within his chest and everything went dark.


#


He remembered the feeling from his youth—resting in a car while the road passed beneath him.
Much like a sleeping child, he also noticed the feeling of someone else lifting his arm, then a leg, as if to dress him. He became particularly aware of the weight of his head as his chin rested against his chest. A steady vibration passed through his hands. Gears shifted. Shocks squeaked. The trailer rattled.
His ears buzzed and gurgling sound began within his own head.
After a moment, he recognized a pattern within the gurgle he understood. A voice. “Caleb.”
He blinked and caught a glimpse of the truck's cab.
“Caleb, take care of this.”
He muttered. “Take care of what?”
“The reaping.”
“What?”
He blinked again and the drug store appeared in front of him. He squinted through the windshield. Shook his head.
The drug store warped and warbled in front of him like he had eaten a psychedelic mushroom. He could easily dismiss everything as a hallucination until Trent Immaculata sauntered out onto the sidewalk. Stopped when he noticed Caleb's truck. Squinted through the windshield.
Three red lines appeared in a tiny clown above Trent's head.
The buzzing grew within Caleb's ear. “He's marked.”
“Cal, is that you?” Trent started around toward his door.
Caleb waved him away. “Not a good time, Trent.”
“Reap him!” A voice echoed loudly through his head.
“What the...” Trent's body jerked into the hair. His arms and legs flailing.
“Fuck no!” Caleb drew the sign of the cross on himself.
“Reap him!” The voice repeated.
“Our Father, who art...” Before he finished his sentence, Trent's head snapped violently to one side. A <i>POP!<i> carried across the parking lot and Trent fell lifelessly to the ground.
Caleb threw open his door and sank to his knees. Trent's body clung to the pavement like a wet sock.
“You sick shit! You killed Trent!”
The buzzing in his ear turned into a cackle. “Oh, Caleb. You're so dramatic.”

“Aaaaahhhhh!!!” Caleb screamed and sobbed.
“Eeeeehhh...” The voice mocked him.
Caleb knelt quietly for a moment. Tears rolled down his cheeks.
“Caleb, get this piece of meat in your truck and resurrect him.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Just get him in your truck.”
Caleb opened the rear door of his cab, scooped Trent into arms, and lifted him onto the backseat. “Now what?'
“Resurrect him,” for the first time he heard the voice as coming from outside of him. He jerked his head to the right. The black goat stood beside him. “Clearly, I'm gonna have to do this one myself.”
Caleb gagged. His body trembled and shook. His head snapped back. Then it was as if his entire body went to sleep, but he didn't fall down. He saw hands moving front of him, but he could not control them. His body simply moved as if controlled by marionette strings.
His hands reached for Trent's belt buckle. He wanted to scream for it to stop, but he coudln't so much as blink of his own. He reached yanked Trent's pants down and rolled him over in a single violent thrash. Caleb's cheek pressed against Trent's back as his hips bounced vigorously against his butt.
“When I bit you, I gave you my venom,” the goat said. “Now you give it to him.”
Feeling trickled back into Caleb's lips, tongue, and throat. He tried to speak. “Who... are...you?”
“Ja-mo-zek,” the goat whispered.
And as quickly as it began, it ended. The truck's cab faded again and Caleb lacked the strength to fight it. Darkness encroached from every side.

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  #2  
Old 02-11-2017, 05:33 PM
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You ever play Goat Simulator? It's pretty hilarious. You just run around as a goat and butt people with your head and stuff.
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Old 02-11-2017, 06:19 PM
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No, but I'll have to check it out. Goats don't get anywhere near enough respect.
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Old 03-24-2017, 10:42 AM
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pretty wacky and nicely written (i need to post 4 times cuz im new)
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Old 09-12-2017, 05:48 PM
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Black Phillip strikes again.
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Old 09-12-2017, 07:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Loser&Loner View Post
Black Phillip strikes again.
I just watched that the other night. What an interesting film.
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Old 09-15-2017, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted by JesseK1213 View Post
I just watched that the other night. What an interesting film.
It was.
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Old 09-15-2017, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Loser&Loner View Post
It was.


Yeah, Fuck that film. Too many unconscious fears brought up from my childhood. Caan't do it!

Still can't watch The Exorcist either.
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Old 09-15-2017, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Yeah, Fuck that film. Too many unconscious fears brought up from my childhood. Caan't do it!

Still can't watch The Exorcist either.
Pussy cat _.

I understand though, 'The Exorcist' was really well written and shot; I was disturbed.
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Old 09-15-2017, 10:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Loser&Loner View Post
Pussy cat _.

I understand though, 'The Exorcist' was really well written and shot; I was disturbed.


I saw it when I was 8. I'm pretty sure the fear propelled me to become an atheist. I was so afraid for months I think my brain just worked out a way it was impossible. To manage the fear.

I also saw Jaws shortly after that. Still don't swim in the ocean or even lakes. Sometimes swimming pools are suspect.

But, I'm pretty much not afraid of anything else. Even things I probably should be.😀
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Old 09-16-2017, 03:16 AM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
I saw it when I was 8. I'm pretty sure the fear propelled me to become an atheist. I was so afraid for months I think my brain just worked out a way it was impossible. To manage the fear.

I also saw Jaws shortly after that. Still don't swim in the ocean or even lakes. Sometimes swimming pools are suspect.

But, I'm pretty much not afraid of anything else. Even things I probably should be.😀
That movie isn't for 8 year olds! Where were your parental folk?
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Old 09-16-2017, 09:27 AM
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i saw Jaws when i was in high school. not so scared. the exorcist scared me shitless. made me need chocolate and a baby blanky. haha, brian's so funny. this whole thread is amusing.

I saw it when I was 8. I'm pretty sure the fear propelled me to become an atheist. I was so afraid for months I think my brain just worked out a way it was impossible. To manage the fear.
as far as the original critique of mine goes:

you have some really nice suspenseful moments. hard to do when writing so short. it made me work on a thriller myself. nice job. solid 8 out of ten. just make sure you space the lines. i already have blurry gamer eyes from dota and partying late. i can't see. MY EYES. MY EYES.

you have great names. i always have matchy-matchy names, like you! great concept. you could have rambled on and on but it shows why you kept it brief. your writing is pretty entrancing. way to go spshane!
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Old 09-16-2017, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Loser&Loner View Post
That movie isn't for 8 year olds! Where were your parental folk?


I grew up in the seventies. My parents were probably in Vegas getting their party on. My older brother and sister were 8 and 9 years older and charged with watching us kids when our parents weren't home. That's how I came to see Exorcist. I was so afraid of that movie that I would wet my pants rather than go to the bathroom by myself.
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Old 09-16-2017, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
I grew up in the seventies. My parents were probably in Vegas getting their party on. My older brother and sister were 8 and 9 years older and charged with watching us kids when our parents weren't home. That's how I came to see Exorcist. I was so afraid of that movie that I would wet my pants rather than go to the bathroom by myself.
Duuuude, you are so ooooold! Hahahaha jk! Makes sense, thems were different times they were.
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Old 09-16-2017, 06:30 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
I grew up in the seventies. My parents were probably in Vegas getting their party on. My older brother and sister were 8 and 9 years older and charged with watching us kids when our parents weren't home. That's how I came to see Exorcist. I was so afraid of that movie that I would wet my pants rather than go to the bathroom by myself.
Pretty much the same here. My folks were out. But I was older -- maybe 11 or 12. My older sisters where out too -- because they wouldn't have allowed it.

But I was warned, regardless. My older brothers even gave me the option to watch something else -- but I wanted to be grown up.

I'd seen all the scary movies -- Halloween, Friday the 13th etc. etc. but nothing prepared me for it. I remember laughing nervously at the cheesy special effects -- but they didn't make it less scary.

I never let on I was scared shitless, but I had trouble getting to sleep for days.
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Old 09-17-2017, 12:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Myers View Post
Pretty much the same here. My folks were out. But I was older -- maybe 11 or 12. My older sisters where out too -- because they wouldn't have allowed it.

But I was warned, regardless. My older brothers even gave me the option to watch something else -- but I wanted to be grown up.

.
Had a similar experience with Alien, when it premiered on British TV. I was 9, and was desperate to see it, being a sci-fi fan, well I liked Dr Who anyway. My parents really did not want to let me but I begged so hard they gave in. Of course I didn't make it past the chestbuster scene, was reduced to a mess, and got a huge telling-off into the bargain.

As for The Exorcist, didn't see it until I was 28 but it was still scary. The overall air of gritty realism works so well.
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