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  #1  
Old 02-13-2018, 01:46 PM
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Default Oh bloody hell


See the huge white
puffy clouds being
wind pushed from left
to right across the blue
(hey - is that azure?)
South Florida sky as
Noon half days upon me

Blaring safety horns
and roaring industrial
machinery all around
the walled in parking
lot where I sit at a wooden table/bench
affair eating
Bulghur Tabouli,
scribbling and wondering
where the urine
scent is wafting from


And now I know it is
almost 6pm in dark
Alesund and somewhere
in that place a
dog wags his tail
as his owner
opens the door

Also, this is where I stop wagging my pen and close the
door on this
inconsequential
tale

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Last edited by Nick Pierce; 02-13-2018 at 02:03 PM..
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  #2  
Old 02-13-2018, 06:31 PM
Beesauce (Offline)
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It seems the only reason I read your posts is to see if you've mentioned either defecating or golden showers, and lo' behold you have not yet to .disappoint.
Oh. You could probably self publish your own chapbook entitled something about your own personal game of thrones -- I'll let you take or leave, I usually use a shovel and bury that shit
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  #3  
Old 02-14-2018, 02:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Beesauce View Post
It seems the only reason I read your posts is to see if you've mentioned either defecating or golden showers, and lo' behold you have not yet to .disappoint.
Oh. You could probably self publish your own chapbook entitled something about your own personal game of thrones -- I'll let you take or leave, I usually use a shovel and bury that shit
I have been toying with the idea of getting my stuff printed on rolls of soft hand sized paper.

Do you have a font preference?
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  #4  
Old 02-15-2018, 02:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
I have been toying with the idea of getting my stuff printed on rolls of soft hand sized paper.

Do you have a font preference?
Helvetica looks a little edgy.

And Olde English has got way too much stuff hangin' down.


I mean me, I have happily gone with whatever they were usin' in the 1970's phone books (yellow pages are softest and reading the ads first often affords a relaxing giggle) but it is the comfort of more genteel types I am concerned with here.
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Old 02-15-2018, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Helvetica looks a little edgy.

And Olde English has got way too much stuff hangin' down.


I mean me, I have happily gone with whatever they were usin' in the 1970's phone books (yellow pages are softest and reading the ads first often affords a relaxing giggle) but it is the comfort of more genteel types I am concerned with here.


Delicate field for data research.
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Old 02-15-2018, 09:04 PM
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this is very lofty and down to earth at the same time. nice going! hard to capture these exact qualifications/elements for most writers.
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  #7  
Old 02-16-2018, 01:57 AM
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Originally Posted by chat bot View Post
this is very lofty and down to earth at the same time. nice going! hard to capture these exact qualifications/elements for most writers.

You get it.

I'm gonna move it to the poetry page and dissect it to show what you (and I) see in the piece.


But first I gotta go do my job.
Ah, what the hell - that's where I wrote this ditty a few days ago. How bad a way to spend the day can that be. And they're learnin' me computer stuff.

This ojt keeps up long enough and I'm gonna figure out how to self publish my rubbish.
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  #8  
Old 02-16-2018, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
See the huge white
puffy clouds being
wind pushed from left
to right across the blue
(hey - is that azure?)
South Florida sky as
Noon half days upon me

Blaring safety horns
and roaring industrial
machinery all around
the walled in parking
lot where I sit at a wooden table/bench
affair eating
Bulghur Tabouli,
scribbling and wondering
where the urine
scent is wafting from


And now I know it is
almost 6pm in dark
Alesund and somewhere
in that place a
dog wags his tail
as his owner
opens the door

Also, this is where I stop wagging my pen and close the
door on this
inconsequential
tale


First two lines engage sight
Next line brings motion which is carried into the one after it and sight is re-engaged via color reference.
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  #9  
Old 02-16-2018, 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
You get it.

I'm gonna move it to the poetry page and dissect it to show what you (and I) see in the piece.


But first I gotta go do my job.
Ah, what the hell - that's where I wrote this ditty a few days ago. How bad a way to spend the day can that be. And they're learnin' me computer stuff.

This ojt keeps up long enough and I'm gonna figure out how to self publish my rubbish.

Screw movin' it.
Gonna mess with it here unless I am advised that some (unknown to me at this time) rules are being ... ahem ... violated.
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  #10  
Old 02-16-2018, 11:37 PM
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Default

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
See the huge white
puffy clouds being
wind pushed from left
to right across the blue
(hey - is that azure?)
South Florida sky as
Noon half days upon me

Blaring safety horns
and roaring industrial
machinery all around
the walled in parking
lot where I sit at a wooden table/bench
affair eating
Bulghur Tabouli,
scribbling and wondering
where the urine
scent is wafting from


And now I know it is
almost 6pm in dark
Alesund and somewhere
in that place a
dog wags his tail
as his owner
opens the door

Also, this is where I stop wagging my pen and close the
door on this
inconsequential
tale
Line 5 steps through the fourth wall with the vision/color device.
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Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
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  #11  
Old 02-17-2018, 04:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Line 5 steps through the fourth wall with the vision/color device.
Line six establishes a 3d footing by giving an earth location and line seven puts a time to the bit.
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