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Dragonfly

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  #1  
Old 06-20-2018, 12:26 PM
Vince (Offline)
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Default Dragonfly


Driven it climbs out of a wet world
A water creature seeking a dry end
Gasping it’s body forms a hard shell

But this is not death. This is definition
Without mind life is made totally different
It soars away with no memory of a past life


Last edited by Vince; 07-01-2018 at 11:21 AM..
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Old 06-20-2018, 03:52 PM
Yonathan1 (Offline)
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Ok well there is barely any imager to sustain this piece but I think it's average just my two cents.
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Old 06-21-2018, 11:08 AM
Vince (Offline)
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yonathan1


indeed. this was an experiment that failed will try again.
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Old 06-21-2018, 04:45 PM
spshane (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Vince View Post
yonathan1


indeed. this was an experiment that failed will try again.
No, it's not a failure.
Plenty of good nuggets in here.
It's like when my wife used to bake cakes. Sometimes you'd get this big bowl of crumbs--really delicious crumbs--but it didn't have enough sticky stuff to hold it altogether. You need more sticky stuff. A bonding agent. Fly ash.
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Old 06-22-2018, 06:45 AM
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you could skip two paragraphs and still say the same for less. otherwise, great effort.
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Old 06-25-2018, 12:28 PM
Vince (Offline)
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Thanks for the encouragement spshane and Ms. Box made some changes what do you think?
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