Kinda like this Yonathan - the milk description captures that fresh, cold taste beautifully - but maybe ice skates in waterfalls rather than 'like' waterfalls.
Do canine teeth hiss? Sounds more of a feline connotation.
The rest I like - your mind has an unusual way of framing experiences which intrigues me and you get the sentiment across.
For the sake of constructive critique - you need to think more about structure. This poem is top heavy teetering on scrawny-legged verses. The rhythm has no continuity.
You have a poet's mind - the ability to perceive your surroundings in imagery clearly comes naturally to you.
Crafting structure will come with practice but get used to evaluating how your work sits on the page and hearing how it rolls when its read aloud.
Overall, you took me with you.
Last edited by Grace Gabriel; 07-05-2018 at 12:33 PM..