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Afterward

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Old 07-08-2018, 02:14 PM
E. Zamora (Offline)
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I gave her my cross that day;
one she had so admired,

made by a widow
in my father’s village
from a goat's horn
and the rusted bones of an
ancient Chevrolet.

In the waiting room, I swear
I saw tiny souls of the unborn
float off to limbo through
the drop-tile ceiling.

And I recalled how her lies
were made visible in December’s cold,
like steam
on a fresh-killed lamb.

That night, in her transient sleep,
lying twisted like sun-bleached driftwood,
she whispered in her native tongue,

“Oh, Holy Mary, Mother of God,
when does life begin?”


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Old 07-08-2018, 02:17 PM
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Wow.

Nailed it.
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Old 07-08-2018, 02:59 PM
E. Zamora (Offline)
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Thanks!
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Old 07-13-2018, 11:42 AM
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Originally Posted by E. Zamora View Post
I gave her my cross that day;
one she had so admired,

made by a widow
in my father’s village
from a goat's horn
and the rusted bones of an
ancient Chevrolet.

In the waiting room, I swear
I saw tiny souls of the unborn
float off to limbo through
the drop-tile ceiling.

And I recalled how her lies
were made visible in December’s cold,
like steam
on a fresh-killed lamb.

That night, in her transient sleep,
lying twisted like sun-bleached driftwood,
she whispered in her native tongue,

“Oh, Holy Mary, Mother of God,
when does life begin?”
Packed a punch, the ending was pure genius.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:41 AM
E. Zamora (Offline)
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Thanks for the read. Cheers.
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Old 07-14-2018, 11:44 AM
Leila (Offline)
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I agree, the ending is particularly powerful. Good work.
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Old 07-16-2018, 09:48 AM
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Read this every time I log on.

So subtle. You've painted red raw emotion with a pastel palette..

but then you've never failed to deliver.

Kudos x
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Old 07-16-2018, 10:00 AM
E. Zamora (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Grace Gabriel View Post
but then you've never failed to deliver.
Tee hee.

Tell that to my old lady.
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Old 07-20-2018, 06:42 PM
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yeah, a really nice read, several times, which I don't normally do.
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