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Do you feel lucky?

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  #1  
Old 08-07-2013, 09:23 AM
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Default Do you feel lucky?


Got a pic that was snapped
less than a year into this life

Smilin' happy cherub face
Chubby cheeks and,
even in 1952 black and white,
the light comin' from the eyes is unmistakeable

2013 and in a mirror I see
those eyes

Except only I would know
they are the same ones

The ones lookin' at me from the glass-
they look like a cliff face that
been blasted by desert sun
for half a lifetime then
smacked by ocean waves for
the other half

Glinting bare rock

In a gaze

And the choir boy cheeks-
they pretty much gone seamed Dust Bowl lean

Eastwood- ear to ear

So, with a lizard grin
and a reptile brain's expectation
of fair play,
I scuttle over mounds of
violated promises
treasoned trusts
and
whored out hopes

Then, with a flick of this tale,
into the black hearted night of Sapiens de Homo
I slither

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  #2  
Old 08-08-2013, 05:35 PM
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I was rather put off with the use of ‘mirrors’ as it’s such a cliché in poetry. It doesn’t seem to play out too badly here, but if it were me, I’d be looking for alternatives. If you were to check out ‘reflection’ rather than ‘mirror’ in a thesaurus you might get a more interesting selection to inspire some variations.

Limp worm maggot dun good though.


xDrew
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  #3  
Old 04-22-2018, 11:31 AM
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[QUOTE=iDrew

Limp worm maggot


QUOTE]



She really does see me clearly.
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Old 04-23-2018, 10:31 PM
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when do you graduate high school, Piercy?
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Old 04-24-2018, 09:05 AM
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lizard baby.

whored out hopes
, stretches the imagination; vast tracks of .. i mean--

keep "this life" -- "this tail"

nice poem
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Old 04-24-2018, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by WilliamS. View Post
when do you graduate high school, Piercy?

I will leave when the cheerleaders no longer shake their pom poms.
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Old 04-24-2018, 01:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Beesauce View Post
lizard baby.

whored out hopes
, stretches the imagination; vast tracks of .. i mean--

keep "this life" -- "this tail"

nice poem
Not "tail".

tale
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Old 04-26-2018, 04:58 PM
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You're correct. I typed a quote I totally Freudian the imagery. Really it is such a trick you've pulled with the lizard brain and then flick TALE whoops, almost did it again. That's a fun detail magic trick if I ever read, see now you know, a reader out there in the world would always, if they never read your poem but once, remember the image of a baby turning into a gecko of some sort slithering away -- Reminds me of this kids movie from the 90's. Ever see Fluke?
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Old 04-26-2018, 05:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Beesauce View Post
You're correct. I typed a quote I totally Freudian the imagery. Really it is such a trick you've pulled with the lizard brain and then flick TALE whoops, almost did it again. That's a fun detail magic trick if I ever read, see now you know, a reader out there in the world would always, if they never read your poem but once, remember the image of a baby turning into a gecko of some sort slithering away -- Reminds me of this kids movie from the 90's. Ever see Fluke?
Never saw the movie. Just watched the trailer. Gonna stick with Old Yeller for my dog movie needs.

Fuggin' dog saved a kid from gettin' e't by pigs, for chrissakes.
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Old 05-03-2018, 02:42 AM
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I like the way you transitioned from 'dust bowl lean', through Clint Eastwood (whose face is dust bowl lean, but also now somewhat reptilian), to the reptilian grin and then the scuttling over remnants of things. It just went seamlessly without feeling forced or awkward in anyway. Lovely bloody poem. Change the year from 1952 to 1956, and that's me.
Funny how we don't feel like reptiles all the time though; only in front of mirrors. I remember once walking toward the glass doors of a building, and as I reached to push it open, a sad old fellow on the other side of the door was reaching to open it too. So I stepped back. So did he. I moved forward again, so did he. So I stepped back again. So did he. This happenned a few times, and I was getting really frustrated with this silly old bugger. Until I realised that the old fool was actually my own teflection in the glass door. Oh, well. Twenty minutes later I'd forgotten all about it and felt 21 again.
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Old 05-03-2018, 07:59 AM
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that same old guy bothers me in the gym. He is in those windows front of the weight machines. He makes faces at me when I'm working out.
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Old 05-03-2018, 01:29 PM
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Yes, that's him. Sneaky old bugger. Trying to spoil our dreams.
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  #13  
Old 06-22-2018, 06:44 AM
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hello lizard
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Old 06-26-2018, 11:29 PM
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Definitely yes. I'm the lucky one!
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Old 06-27-2018, 02:26 PM
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Originally Posted by kellbooth View Post
Definitely yes. I'm the lucky one!
Would you be good enough to quote what you are responding to?
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Old 06-27-2018, 02:27 PM
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Originally Posted by chat bot View Post
hello lizard
Excuse me while I pass my tongue over my eye.
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Would you be good enough to quote what you are responding to?
You first.
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
You first.
Just did.
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Just did.
Oh.
Right, then.
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