WritersBeat.com
 

Go Back   WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry

Poetry Sit down or take a stand in this poetry section.


Dinner Date

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 02-14-2014, 12:01 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default Dinner Date


She's all butterflies and lightnin'
Really kinda frightnin'
As I climb up onto her bed

They say she offed a man in Dallas
Clamped down upon his phallus
Didn't let loose until he was cold dead

I try to keep such talk out of my head

Her skin warm and soft like velvet
This may be the road to Hell but ...
(heh, didn't think I could rhyme velvet, eh?)

[adult activities happen here]

Now I'm restin' with a smile on my face
As she ties me into place
What's that? She's sayin' grace

Well I hope I'm as good for her
as she was
for me

__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-14-2014, 04:24 PM
hannah1 (Offline)
Scribbler
Official Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 34
Thanks: 0
Thanks 5
Default

Very nice....how long did this take you to compose?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-15-2014, 08:46 AM
zara
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Hmm, like something straight out of a film noir.

I can't think of anything to rhyme with velvet either..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Nick Pierce (02-17-2014)
  #4  
Old 02-15-2014, 10:45 AM
Nacia's Avatar
Nacia (Online)
Resident Ghost
Official Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: London, England.
Posts: 10,181
Thanks: 2,660
Thanks 918
Default

something to rhyme with velvet
curvet?
''a graceful or energetic leap.''



I think it goes rather well
__________________
a lesson in
life is a pound
in sound
it reminds us
it is expensive a fine
so bear one
in mind
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Nacia For This Useful Post:
Nick Pierce (02-17-2014)
  #5  
Old 02-15-2014, 05:33 PM
AndroidAtNight's Avatar
AndroidAtNight (Offline)
Profusive Denizen
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Birmingham UK
Posts: 274
Thanks: 127
Thanks 62
Default

This is so awesome dark and punchy and funny
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to AndroidAtNight For This Useful Post:
Nick Pierce (02-17-2014)
  #6  
Old 02-17-2014, 12:45 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default

Originally Posted by hannah1 View Post
how long did this take you to compose?
Coupla daze.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-17-2014, 03:29 PM
JustcallmeEd (Offline)
Official Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Humboldt Co., California
Posts: 4,796
Thanks: 370
Thanks 697
Default

Heh. Hell but.

That's pretty good, Nick.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to JustcallmeEd For This Useful Post:
Nick Pierce (02-19-2014)
  #8  
Old 02-17-2014, 04:00 PM
Franklin's Avatar
Franklin (Offline)
Homer's Odyssey Was Nothing
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Valley of the Daughter of the Stars
Posts: 1,164
Thanks: 797
Thanks 314
Default

4
__________________
apagewriter.blogspot.com

Last edited by Franklin; 02-17-2014 at 04:06 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Franklin For This Useful Post:
Nick Pierce (02-19-2014)
  #9  
Old 02-18-2014, 02:53 AM
Pandora's Avatar
Pandora (Offline)
Scribbling Master
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 825
Thanks: 220
Thanks 261
Default

thanks for the smiles
__________________
"now I float away like honey in the sun"
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Pandora For This Useful Post:
Nick Pierce (02-19-2014)
  #10  
Old 01-18-2018, 02:17 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default

Man, I forgot about this one also.

What possessed me to write such a gag?

I best shave and get my ass to work.
Doesn't look like I should risk losing my day job.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 01-18-2018, 04:51 AM
Luciaphile's Avatar
Luciaphile (Offline)
Profusive Denizen
Official Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 250
Thanks: 113
Thanks 59
Default

Neat! When I read "Up onto her bed" I pictured a cat, sorry to say. Ha. Then the ties me up is confusing to me - is she tying him to the bed, or dressing him, or what? I know I'm dumb. But good fun poem and I like it.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Compliments of the Author: Debbie Bumstead
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01-18-2018, 02:33 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default

Originally Posted by Luciaphile View Post
Neat! When I read "Up onto her bed" I pictured a cat, sorry to say. Ha. Then the ties me up is confusing to me - is she tying him to the bed, or dressing him, or what? I know I'm dumb. But good fun poem and I like it.

His pleasure is carnal, hers is cannibal.


The end stanza represents what can be done when a cliche is reworked.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?

Last edited by Nick Pierce; 01-18-2018 at 02:36 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 06-17-2018, 08:30 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
She's all butterflies and lightnin'
Really kinda frightnin'
As I climb up onto her bed

They say she offed a man in Dallas
Clamped down upon his phallus
Didn't let loose until he was cold dead

I try to keep such talk out of my head

Her skin warm and soft like velvet
This may be the road to Hell but ...
(heh, didn't think I could rhyme velvet, eh?)

[adult activities happen here]

Now I'm restin' with a smile on my face
As she ties me into place
What's that? She's sayin' grace

Well I hope I'm as good for her
as she was
for me



Hmm. Is this one of those poems you read and then an hour later you want to read more?
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?

Last edited by Nick Pierce; 06-17-2018 at 09:53 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 06-17-2018, 12:16 PM
Prodigalson's Avatar
Prodigalson (Online)
Homer's Odyssey Was Nothing
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Humboldt Co., CA
Posts: 2,324
Thanks: 263
Thanks 489
Default

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Hmm. Is this one of those poems you read and then an hour later you want to read more?
Are you saying you're Chinese, Nick?
__________________
Mr. Ed said I should use his signature, since he's not anymore. In honor of his good friend Nok, here it is: "As far as smoking a cigar," she said, "I'd not know where to start or how to start." "It's simple," said I, "You light one end and chew on the other and hope to meet in the middle."
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 06-17-2018, 06:42 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default

Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
Are you saying you're Chinese, Nick?
Well I am married to an Asian.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 06-17-2018, 06:58 PM
brianpatrick's Avatar
brianpatrick (Online)
Still Clicking!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona
Posts: 5,297
Thanks: 428
Thanks 1,185
Default

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Well I am married to an Asian.


That just means you eat good food.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 06-18-2018, 02:38 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default

Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
That just means you eat good food.

The trick is doin' it with only one chopstick.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 06-19-2018, 08:16 PM
Prodigalson's Avatar
Prodigalson (Online)
Homer's Odyssey Was Nothing
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Humboldt Co., CA
Posts: 2,324
Thanks: 263
Thanks 489
Default

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
The trick is doin' it with only one chopstick.
Isn't that called a shish kabob?
__________________
Mr. Ed said I should use his signature, since he's not anymore. In honor of his good friend Nok, here it is: "As far as smoking a cigar," she said, "I'd not know where to start or how to start." "It's simple," said I, "You light one end and chew on the other and hope to meet in the middle."
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 06-19-2018, 08:33 PM
brianpatrick's Avatar
brianpatrick (Online)
Still Clicking!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona
Posts: 5,297
Thanks: 428
Thanks 1,185
Default

Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
Isn't that called a shish kabob?


It’s a variation on “what is the sound of one hand clapping.”
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 06-20-2018, 10:28 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default

Fun and educational.

Gawd I love this place.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 06-22-2018, 06:45 AM
chat bot's Avatar
chat bot (Offline)
Always Online
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: OFF-AIR
Posts: 2,035
Thanks: 6
Thanks 276
Default

i didn't like it. i don't know why. edit: why don't i like it, nicky?
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
💭
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 06-23-2018, 04:59 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default

Originally Posted by chat bot View Post
i didn't like it. i don't know why. edit: why don't i like it, nicky?
You don't like it because it has the female going praying mantis on the male and being the gentle soul that you are finding empathy for the female in the piece is not easy for you.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 06-23-2018, 05:15 PM
chat bot's Avatar
chat bot (Offline)
Always Online
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: OFF-AIR
Posts: 2,035
Thanks: 6
Thanks 276
Default

oh, ya ya ya
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
💭
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 06-23-2018, 05:34 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Offline)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,488
Thanks: 2,095
Thanks 1,379
Default

Originally Posted by chat bot View Post
oh, ya ya ya
When an author is understood by the audience it is nice. When an author understands the audience it is also nice.


Now please excuse me while I go back to watching Bill Burr and Jimmy Carr.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
Reply

  WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Blind Date Cityboy Free Writing 1 07-27-2012 04:32 PM
Second Date Alfie Fiction 3 03-15-2012 02:28 PM
Dinner With Father Daryl MacDonald Fiction 12 12-27-2011 06:07 PM
Dinner Time Cityboy Fiction 3 06-26-2011 07:19 AM


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:40 PM.

vBulletin, Copyright © 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.