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The Pet

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  #1  
Old 07-07-2018, 08:29 AM
Yonathan1 (Offline)
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Default The Pet


My pet-fish whirlpools into
pearlywhite toilet-bowl abysses
A 911-exit from childhood.

Not like Man-o-War bubbles
hurricane-blowing in jaguar-body-slides
as it skis around youth, they
leap kindergarten-smacking
spinal-cords for breaking school
GerberBabylaws
I drained Spanky (my pet) down
the toilet acting like I’m Tony
Montana going trigger-happy
on people.

The flushing of waterbones are not
for alphabets or Twinkle Twinkle
Little Stars glinting mutant night-skies

They’re for my goldfish to swim
with fish.

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  #2  
Old 07-08-2018, 05:59 AM
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Nick Pierce (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Yonathan1 View Post
My pet-fish whirlpools into
pearlywhite toilet-bowl abysses
A 911-exit from childhood.

Not like Man-o-War bubbles
hurricane-blowing in jaguar-body-slides
as it skis around youth, they
leap kindergarten-smacking
spinal-cords for breaking school
GerberBabylaws
I drained Spanky (my pet) down
the toilet acting like I’m Tony
Montana going trigger-happy
on people.

The flushing of waterbones are not
for alphabets or Twinkle Twinkle
Little Stars glinting mutant night-skies

They’re for my goldfish to swim
with fish.


I know burgeoning genius when I read it.
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Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
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Yonathan1 (07-08-2018)
  #3  
Old 07-08-2018, 10:23 AM
Yonathan1 (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
I know burgeoning genius when I read it.
Thanks Nick! I appreciate your burgeoning comment.
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Old 07-14-2018, 05:47 AM
E. Zamora (Offline)
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Hi, Yonathan.

Your style reminds me little bit of Ogden Nash or maybe even Lear or the British comedian Stanley Unwin where seemingly unconnected words are combined in ways that somehow make sense in a certain context.

That said (and considering that I can be a kind of thick reader) and aside from what's obviously going on, I don't get a lot of it.

It feels like there's something good going on here, though. I don't usually ask of explanations, but it might help me understand your style and then I might be able to tell you something useful.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:22 AM
Yonathan1 (Offline)
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Originally Posted by E. Zamora View Post
Hi, Yonathan.

Your style reminds me little bit of Ogden Nash or maybe even Lear or the British comedian Stanley Unwin where seemingly unconnected words are combined in ways that somehow make sense in a certain context.

That said (and considering that I can be a kind of thick reader) and aside from what's obviously going on, I don't get a lot of it.

It feels like there's something good going on here, though. I don't usually ask of explanations, but it might help me understand your style and then I might be able to tell you something useful.
It's supposed to be like cartoon-style writing, i wrote this to construct a stronger image cause originally instead of writing jellyfish bubbles i immediately thought of man-o-war because it was more specific and a stronger noun so i thought it make more sense to add it there. Also the more i read it feel like a goobdygook so i don't know. I may have to change it and although i thank you for taking the time to read it. It seems my poetry is kind of hard to understand for it's complexity.
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