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Does the Soul Exist?

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Old 05-08-2018, 06:40 PM
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Default Does the Soul Exist?


Does the Soul exist?

The soul is generally thought of as being separate from the body. Residing in the body, but not part of the body, as it were. There are people who believe the soul and the body are in some way inter-connected or inter-woven. These people are insane.

The reason that we can’t see the soul is that it is magic. We can, however, conject that it is made of an ethereal substance so far unknown to science. It is about two to three inches long and comes in a variety of colours. The soul lives forever. (We can, in fact, conject almost anything we like. That is the great beauty of science.)

If you cut the soul in half you will end up with two souls. This is a scientific fact. And if something is a scientific fact, then you can’t argue with it, can you? This makes it even more of a scientific fact. It is, then, very much a scientific fact. (This is known as the scientific method.)

The scientific method for examining souls is well-established and well-documented, thus providing a robust platform from which to prove that the soul exists. But only insofar as it conforms to the known scientific principles under which it has been described. (Only a scientist would understand this.)

Now, anything which cannot be proven to be real may not be real – but it could be. (Two possibilities.) But anything that can be proven to be real is, by definition, real. (Only one possibility.) And referring back to the well-documented axiom that a soul cut in half equals two souls, we see that this actually doubles our chances of the soul existing. It is easy now to see that the two possibilities in statement one are now cancelled out because there are two souls. This leaves us with only one possibility (because we cannot have two identical souls, one of which exists where the other doesn’t). Therefore the soul is real. And having established this under strict scientific protocols, we can be left in no doubt as to the veracity of this statement. It must be remembered that our procedures are very well-established, with a high degree of governance, internal and external reviews, quality controls and ongoing peer-supervision.

The soul has had a number of songs written about it. “Poor Soul”, by Johnny Vortex and the Deltoids; “Soul Destroyer”, by Nancy Heart-attack; and “Soul-Eyes”, by the ISIS boys’ choir. This is further proof that the souls exists – for why would anyone write a song about something that does not exist? They wouldn’t. Would they? No, they wouldn’t. So, there it is.

And another thing: if the soul didn’t exist, why would I be writing about it? How could I be conceptualising something that not only doesn’t exist but, by a very interesting process of analysis, extrapolation and inversion, can be shown to have never existed? Yes, well. If you were a scientist like me you would understand much more betterer.

And, so, the soul exists.

In the next chapter I will be exploring the age-old conundrum of why cats can’t live under water for more than a few minutes.

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Old 05-08-2018, 09:09 PM
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The science is not in on the absolute realness of those things proven to be real. Pluto, for example. I grew up knowing that Pluto was a real planet, welcome at solar system barbecues and showing up in all those planetary family pictures, but then we were told it had been black-balled, that it wasn't a real planet at all but had rode in on the coat-tails of that drunken Uncle Ed.

What a disappointment! Now I don't know what is real.
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Old 05-09-2018, 02:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Lingard View Post
Does the Soul exist?

The soul is generally thought of as being separate from the body. Residing in the body, but not part of the body, as it were. There are people who believe the soul and the body are in some way inter-connected or inter-woven. These people are insane.

The reason that we can’t see the soul is that it is magic. We can, however, conject that it is made of an ethereal substance so far unknown to science. It is about two to three inches long and comes in a variety of colours. The soul lives forever. (We can, in fact, conject almost anything we like. That is the great beauty of science.)

If you cut the soul in half you will end up with two souls. This is a scientific fact. And if something is a scientific fact, then you can’t argue with it, can you? This makes it even more of a scientific fact. It is, then, very much a scientific fact. (This is known as the scientific method.)

The scientific method for examining souls is well-established and well-documented, thus providing a robust platform from which to prove that the soul exists. But only insofar as it conforms to the known scientific principles under which it has been described. (Only a scientist would understand this.)

Now, anything which cannot be proven to be real may not be real – but it could be. (Two possibilities.) But anything that can be proven to be real is, by definition, real. (Only one possibility.) And referring back to the well-documented axiom that a soul cut in half equals two souls, we see that this actually doubles our chances of the soul existing. It is easy now to see that the two possibilities in statement one are now cancelled out because there are two souls. This leaves us with only one possibility (because we cannot have two identical souls, one of which exists where the other doesn’t). Therefore the soul is real. And having established this under strict scientific protocols, we can be left in no doubt as to the veracity of this statement. It must be remembered that our procedures are very well-established, with a high degree of governance, internal and external reviews, quality controls and ongoing peer-supervision.

The soul has had a number of songs written about it. “Poor Soul”, by Johnny Vortex and the Deltoids; “Soul Destroyer”, by Nancy Heart-attack; and “Soul-Eyes”, by the ISIS boys’ choir. This is further proof that the souls exists – for why would anyone write a song about something that does not exist? They wouldn’t. Would they? No, they wouldn’t. So, there it is.

And another thing: if the soul didn’t exist, why would I be writing about it? How could I be conceptualising something that not only doesn’t exist but, by a very interesting process of analysis, extrapolation and inversion, can be shown to have never existed? Yes, well. If you were a scientist like me you would understand much more betterer.

And, so, the soul exists.

In the next chapter I will be exploring the age-old conundrum of why cats can’t live under water for more than a few minutes.

I suspect they can live underwater indefinitely but keep up the current ruse so that fish do not develop a more efficient form of self defense.

The forgoing comment about fish does exclude the species known as Piranha.
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Old 05-09-2018, 06:41 PM
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The soul actually DOES exist, just not in the way most believe. It’s not individual.

Here, I’ll explain:

If all us humans were playing a football game (we are playing a game), then the soul is the stadium.

Your human (body) “apparatus” is a tool to channel the infinite. It does sometimes, but most of us don’t see it.

The few who do are called geniuses. The rest play the game without realizing what’s going on.

I suggest meditation. But not the silly hypnotism most yoga bitches call meditation, the real stuff. No repeating “words” or creative visualizations. The real stuff.

You do it everyday, but mostly don’t realize it.

That’s the tricky part... you have to realize you’re already doing it.

When the “watcher” and the “watched” become one thing, you’ve got it.

I won’t repeat this info again because beesauce and the NSA are probably watching. They don’t want you to know this stuff. They also don’t want you smoking weed or DMT—creates free thinkers—bad, bad, bad.
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Old 05-09-2018, 08:39 PM
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The Bhagavad Gita implies that the soul is sub-atomic in size and resides in the heart region. I tend to like that idea. But the whole point of the piece was nothing at all to do with the soul, really. It was a crack at 'science' and an attempt at a different sort of humour. I just have fun writing nonsensical shit at times.
Cheers.
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Old 05-09-2018, 09:24 PM
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Yeah, I got that. It was funny. Just thought I’d clear up the matter.

Didn’t mean to ruin the joke; just thought people should know the reality. Ha ha...

Reality...
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Old 05-10-2018, 02:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
I suspect they can live underwater indefinitely but keep up the current ruse so that fish do not develop a more efficient form of self defense.

The forgoing comment about fish does exclude the species known as Piranha.


And about Sharks - cats never encounter them because cats don't get in salt water. It makes their fur cakey and they don't like that.
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Old 05-10-2018, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Reality...
There you go with your faith-based superstitions again. Everyone knows that science says there is no reality...
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Old 05-10-2018, 01:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
There you go with your faith-based superstitions again. Everyone knows that science says there is no reality...


Only the post-modernists say there’s no reality. And they’re all comminiss sympathizers. Social justice warrior bitches.
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Old 05-18-2018, 02:56 PM
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A good friend of mine, who's so much weirder than me--the older I get the more I like being around people who are so weird they make me look normal--is a martial arts instructor. Personally, I find martial arts instructors weird from the start, because they can get overly nuanced about what's second nature to most people. For example, if you really needed to beat the shit out of someone with a stick, I think I you could figure it out intuitively, but it turns out that there's a right and a wrong way to beat the shit out of someone with a stick (you can actually fuck it up). You don't want to try to beat the shit out of someone with a stick who's better at beating the shit out of people with a stick than you are. In that case, you just buy a gun. But I digress. Sometimes, we smoke weed together, because I have enough health issues that doctor's don't even argue with me anymore about rather or not it's "medical". Anyway, we were smoking weed one time and he gets really chatty when he's high. Went on talking all this shit about the ancient samurai. Turns out that the reason why the Japanese used to stab themselves below the navel when committing harikari is that they believed that's where the soul "lives". It's Western society that started the notion that the soul has something to do with the heart (probably because that's where Jesus lives). The Japanese were fairly certain that the soul lived somewhere between the navel and the pubic bone (around your center of gravity). But I don't think the Japanese actually believed that they were "killing" the soul; it was more like they were setting it free. I knew this fucked up Catholic baker one time who always drew a cross on her soda bread to release the evil spirits. I guess they don't like it when you eat them.


The real question is what happens to the soul once it slips through the two-inch incision that you made with your sword. Does it swirl around in space or seep into the bellies of pregnant women? Does it end up in a Faraday Box? Maybe

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Old 05-19-2018, 08:47 AM
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What the Bleep Do We (K)now!?

Discovering The Endless Possibilities For Altering Your Reality

Excellent book with insight into science, religion, and energy (soul, spirit, etc.). Reading it with an open mind will be an enjoyable experience. The soul is energy; and, even a hardcore, God-hating, materialistic-minded scientist will admit (when nobody is around to hear him) that energy is transformed and never dies.

"A deeply spiritual work that takes for granted that most people are hungry to break out of the sleep-walking existence of our consumer culture ... dares to treat people as smart and deeply curious rather than dumb and deeply cynical." Dallas Morning News

"Puts a positive spin on the jolt to the intuition that is quantum physics, and suggests that a man's fate could be an enlightened paradigm ... very powerful." Seattle Post

"A [work] about quantum physics, spirituality -- and the meaning of life ... It's full of head-scratchers and the kind of talk I'm not used to hearing from scientists and other academics ... attempts to answer existential conundrums such as: What is God? What are emotions? What is the soul? And the ever-popular why are we here?" The Chicago Sun-Times

We aren't here just to line up outside a store to purchase the latest electronic device. Or to push a shopping cart around a crowded Wal-Mart, as many sleep-walkers would like us all to believe.

Last edited by Cityboy; 05-19-2018 at 09:04 AM..
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Old 05-19-2018, 10:28 AM
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the proff that souo exists is easy - two words - James Brown - he is gone but soul lives on
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Old 05-19-2018, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Cityboy View Post
What the Bleep Do We (K)now!?

Discovering The Endless Possibilities For Altering Your Reality

Excellent book with insight into science, religion, and energy (soul, spirit, etc.). Reading it with an open mind will be an enjoyable experience. The soul is energy; and, even a hardcore, God-hating, materialistic-minded scientist will admit (when nobody is around to hear him) that energy is transformed and never dies.

"A deeply spiritual work that takes for granted that most people are hungry to break out of the sleep-walking existence of our consumer culture ... dares to treat people as smart and deeply curious rather than dumb and deeply cynical." Dallas Morning News

"Puts a positive spin on the jolt to the intuition that is quantum physics, and suggests that a man's fate could be an enlightened paradigm ... very powerful." Seattle Post

"A [work] about quantum physics, spirituality -- and the meaning of life ... It's full of head-scratchers and the kind of talk I'm not used to hearing from scientists and other academics ... attempts to answer existential conundrums such as: What is God? What are emotions? What is the soul? And the ever-popular why are we here?" The Chicago Sun-Times

We aren't here just to line up outside a store to purchase the latest electronic device. Or to push a shopping cart around a crowded Wal-Mart, as many sleep-walkers would like us all to believe.


There’s a book called Quantum Physics For Babies. You should read that. The movie you reference has been debunked by smart people. The whole connection to spiritualism is wishful fantasy made by people who didn’t understand the science at all.
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Old 05-20-2018, 12:16 PM
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If your mother or father told you they saw an apparition of their mother or father, you wouldn't believe them because you have programmed yourself to disbelieve "under all circumstances." What would be the point of trying to explain something to someone who's mind is sealed "air-tight." That's where you are coming from. "Debunk" is the first and only word you'll let enter your lightless cellar. I fully understand.

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Old 05-20-2018, 12:29 PM
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Smart people? That's a joke. Smart people like you who refuse not only to turn the stone but to look at it.
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Old 05-20-2018, 07:27 PM
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I would not believe my mother or fathers accounts that they saw a ghost. I would however believe directly seeing one myself. I would also believe in in Jesus if he floated down onto the Whitehouse lawn and did something like made all the bombs disappear, or took a few hundred bullets from the secret service.

I would also believe in UFO’s if one landed in Central Park and unloaded a few aliens who talked to people, etc.

Look, it may be true that ghosts/spirits are real in some way. Also Jesus. Also UFO’s. But I don’t see why we should have to have “faith” in any of these things when (if they are real) it would be really easy for them to prove it. Definitively. It would take almost no effort to dazzle the hell out of us humans.
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Old Yesterday, 07:09 AM
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You wouldn't even believe yourself. Probably schedule an eye examination. Imagine discovering you've been living a "lie" all these years. Hard to swallow. But, it's your life and you do what you want (Eric Burdon).
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Old Yesterday, 10:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Cityboy View Post
" What would be the point of trying to explain something to someone who's mind is sealed "air-tight."
And indeed that is the sentiment of many who try to explain their position to one who is so convinced of their rightness that they will not allow the expression of even the slightest variation of their beliefs.

Here we have one person saying, "Show me the money," and another saying, "No, you must go shopping on my word that my check is good."

Sensible people wait for the check to clear, then go shopping.
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Old Yesterday, 07:06 PM
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When I was a kid and sitting in a classroom with twenty other kids, I didn't know that it was temporary or that there was a whole bigger world out there waiting for me. I thought the classroom was the whole world. Now that I'm sixty two and don't go to school anymore, It seems my current external environment is the whole world. My car, my wife, my son, my job, my interests, my hobbies, my country, the government, the economy, my health, my 'future'. But, really, I know I'm still in a classroom.
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