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Corrupted Wishes Game

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  #61  
Old 05-30-2006, 02:47 PM
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Granted, but the government also does this for the rest of the world and as a result within a matter of 1 day, everyone is dead and you were the first to go.

I wish the travel magazine loves my essay and gives me lots of money for it.


(p.s. i really don't wish anyone dead....)

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  #62  
Old 05-31-2006, 06:04 AM
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Granted. In fact, they loved it so much they offer you a full time position. Sadly, since the first work impressed them so much, they expected the same quality in all your work and you let them down. They have you flogged for destroying their faith in humanity.


I wish I really didn't wish anyone dead.
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  #63  
Old 05-31-2006, 09:05 AM
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Granted. But as a result, the person you didn't wish dead wound up being a serial killer and murders you and your entire family.

I wish I had a longer attention span.
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  #64  
Old 05-31-2006, 09:06 AM
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Granted, but you couldn't find anything to pay attention to, so it did you no good, what-so-ever.

I wish I had another Cream Soda.
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  #65  
Old 05-31-2006, 09:14 AM
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Granted. But you suddenly spill the cream soda all over your legs, atracting the attention of a hive of bees which latch onto your leg and proceed to sting you. This is the point where you suddenly realize you are allergic to bees and you die.

I wish I was the greatest authot ever.
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  #66  
Old 05-31-2006, 09:49 AM
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Granted. Perhaps you didn't know what an "authot" was? An "authot" is a clump of slimy goo that collects at the bottom of the thick bilious liquid in which the Kep-mok Blook Tick lives through its larval stage.


I wish I could sit of my own volition in a quiet room alone with A Dance With Dragons.
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  #67  
Old 05-31-2006, 10:33 AM
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Granted, but as you are all alone when you fall through the ceiling and there is no one there to help you...so you're in a terrible amount of pain for weeks until finally your body shuts down.

I wish I could flip a switch and be ready to leave.
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  #68  
Old 05-31-2006, 11:32 AM
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Granted. But after you flip the switch, you are ready to leave this world, and thus, you die.

I wish I could type correctly so I would spell Author and not authot
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  #69  
Old 05-31-2006, 12:09 PM
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Granted, but you become anal about typing and begin to annoy everyone around so one day, someone flips a light switch and shoots you in the head.

I wish the universe was not intent on making me stay in Roseburg forever.
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  #70  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:08 PM
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Granted. You get on a space ship and leave but, five seconds after you get out Roseburg, you are abducted by aliens who test their new form of torture on you, papercuts all over the body and then dipped into lemon juice. They continue this on you until you eventually die.

I wish I knew what the W stood for in George W. Bush
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  #71  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:12 PM
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ok i surrender i'll stay in roseburg forever...

Granted, but it's top secret and you don't have the clearence. So the government realizes you're a threat and sends you as a deep undercover "foreigner" to a teeny country between China and Russia and leave you there till the end of your days. You never see another soul you know because the citizens of the country lock you in a dungen and periodically drop water on you.

I wish I could find something to do in the town.
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  #72  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:19 PM
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Granted, but your kind isn't allowed in town, so now there's nothing to do anywhere else.
And you're hosed.

I wish I had my money in my hand.
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  #73  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:21 PM
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Granted. But the money you get is from a National Bank, and thus you get the feds on your case, you spend the majority of your life running in fear, until a giant gun fight with the police blows your body into tiny bits and peices.

I wish I could get a girlfriend

Last edited by Brandonsb; 05-31-2006 at 05:24 PM..
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  #74  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:23 PM
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Granted, she's ridiculously ugly, has no interests you do, doesn't care about you, and for some reason won't let you shake her off when someone better comes along.
You get married and consummate your marriage multiple times a day.
Congrats, bud. Uglyspawn.

I wish I were in England
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  #75  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:27 PM
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Granted. But upon arrival, you accidently stumble upon a british cult which proceed to beat you to a bloody pulp and then sacrifice you.

I wish was a master of all the martial arts
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  #76  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:28 PM
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Granted, but you kick your teacher in the head and he kills you. Dead on the mat. No future.

I wish Stacy would actually give me my book back. And Sarah's too. Evil girl.
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  #77  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:32 PM
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Granted. But shortly after you recieve your book back, you realize that she has place a bomb inside of it and it exploads and kills you.

I wish I was 6 foot 7 inches.
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  #78  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:34 PM
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Granted, but you spend your life alone because your height prevents you from getting a girlfriend.

I wish I was in Washington.
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  #79  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:37 PM
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Granted. But the moment you arrive in Washington D.C. President Bush picks you up and hires you as the person he talks to. You are forced to listen to his incessant ramblings, the job pays nothing, but if you leave the CIA will kill you because they think you know too much, and there is no fame involved... personally I'd prefer the papercuts and lemon juice.

I wish I was the greatest professional wrestler ever
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  #80  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:37 PM
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Granted, but Washington is very old and decayed by now, and being in him isn't at all the pleasant experience you once supposed.

I wish I was at a live concert.
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  #81  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:45 PM
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Granted. But the live concert you are at is one of a garage band you suck so badly that your ears start to bleed. You instantly lose your hearing and are in immense pain. Finally, when the pain ends and bleeding stops their guitar player messes up and accidently throws his guitar, which hits you in the face and causes you to hit your head on a rock, and since you are the only one at this concert, you lie there in worse pain until you finally die.

I wish had an amazingly long memory
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  #82  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:47 PM
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two notes:
*washington = the state not the capital as in the one that above oregon and next to idaho and under canada.

*chuff = technically....washington would be inside me...but anyways....

Brandonsb: Granted but you get thrown through a cement floor and spend the rest of your life in a body cast.

chuff: Granted, but your eardrums get blown out and you are permanently deaf for the rest of your life.

I wish I was eating Hawiian food.
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  #83  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:51 PM
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Granted. But you amazingly find the worst cook in Hawaii and thus eat the worst food in the world and you spend a week in terrible stomach pains before you finally die in food poisoning.
(and note, you never specified the state, you just said Washington)

I wish I legally obtained one billion dollars
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  #84  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:54 PM
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Off-topic:

Well, to be truly "technical" about it, I meant being inside the cadaver, not sexually.
Minds in gutters need to be eradicated therefrom.

Granted, but they are a brand new dollar and have no tender to back them up

I wish I were male
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  #85  
Old 05-31-2006, 05:58 PM
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Granted. But you become a scrawny male that acts like a girl, and therefore, you are a social outcast you spend the rest of your life alone.

I wish I owned the best video game company in the world
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  #86  
Old 05-31-2006, 08:05 PM
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Granted, it pulls an "Enron" right when you own it.

I wish 3EB would release another CD.
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  #87  
Old 06-01-2006, 07:21 AM
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Granted. But they rush the CD so it is has the worst songs possible and they are fired and they never make a CD again. Some one hates the CD so much that they throw it off a building and it hits you in the head and gets lodged in your skull and you die.

I wish I didn't have to work today
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  #88  
Old 06-01-2006, 12:48 PM
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Granted, but your laziness cost you your job and you're now unemployed. After applying for a position at Writer's Beat, you withdrew the application after discovering there was no salary.

I wish my trip to Las Vegas is profitable.
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  #89  
Old 06-01-2006, 04:31 PM
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Granted. Upon arrival in Vegas, you join a local gang and hold up a casino, you make millions, but shortly after you are shot down by the cops.

I wish something interesting would happen
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  #90  
Old 06-02-2006, 10:08 AM
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Granted...that's it. That was the interesting thing.


I wish I was floating at a comfy 69 degrees, suspended in a life-sustaining enzyme without the need for oxygen or food.
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