How to ruin a Wolverine movie...
I thought it would be impossible, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine carving up 2/5ths of humanity. The entire movie could just show Fifty thousand bad guys being shot at Wolverine out of a cannon and Wolverine carving them up as they fly past for two hours, and the movie would win 50 Oscars and 7,000,000,000 people would watch and enjoy it, and buy the DVD afterwards.
But I was proven wrong... again.
[spoiler alert] if I want to watch an old drunk man with no mutant healing factor stagger about I could have stayed at home.
I'm starting to sound like that fat guy from The Simpsons, conveying my disappointment to the Internet shortly after seeing a movie. It's not good for my health. I need to take an antacid.
But the thing is, movies are supposed to give me two hours of meaningless dribble to fill an already empty existence, not remind me of my empty existence. And if wanted to watch a movie on existentialism I wouldn't choose Wolverine.
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas
-George Bernard Shaw