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Last time I bother you guys for awhile

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  #1  
Old 03-18-2018, 01:08 PM
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Default Last time I bother you guys for awhile


Yeah, yeah, I was supposed to work on that other thing, but this had to be written. You guys understand.


Close to Enlightenment

"Cain't be done," he said. "Imma need a chainsaw."

Can't be done my ass

My girl's son had my chainsaw, helping widows from our local church.
Usually he does yard work with me. Good kid, damned fine worker.
But ol' Grimsley needed a few extra bucks, and I ain't one to bemoan shelling out a few Jacksons for honest labor.

Can't be done my ass - Even if I had my Husqvarna I wouldn't use it.

Tangled in curled vines, the base of the branch grew. Thick as my forearm.

Lifted my clippers, angled them for a beaver cut and pushed the handles together. Twisting left and right, working each side.

"Told ya," he said. "Cain't be done."

Can't be done my ass

50 foot rope, hammer knotted at the end, right under the claw. Up and over it flew, nearly glancing off my hip. Wrapped my hand around the ends, over and under a few times. Pulled and pulled.

Obstinate branch shivered back and forth, leaves and bark cascading down. Arms burning I pulled. Hands cramping I yanked.

A loud crack and there went the branch.
Held aloft by vines. Pointed end swinging like a Vietnam pendulum.

I know how the fella in that Poe story felt.

Branch aimed at my head, accelerating, all I could think about was the cigarette that opened a shoe store. When asked why it responded:

"If I'm gonna get stomped on, I'm at least selling them the shoe."

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Last edited by daes13; 03-18-2018 at 01:12 PM..
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Old 03-18-2018, 01:33 PM
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Are those spaces paragraphs?

Itís a little confusing but lemme read it a few more times.

I like the flow and the voice.


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Old 03-18-2018, 01:34 PM
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And itís a writing forum... so... write. Anything is good. Err... well, not everything. But I read all of it.


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Old 03-18-2018, 01:43 PM
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I wasn't sure if I wanted to make it a poem or prose, so I did both. Just happened actually. And yeah, probably not good haha, but I had to get it out. Thanks for reading man
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Old 03-18-2018, 02:41 PM
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Originally Posted by daes13 View Post
I wasn't sure if I wanted to make it a poem or prose, so I did both. Just happened actually. And yeah, probably not good haha, but I had to get it out. Thanks for reading man
I know what you mean. I sometimes find myself somewhere between a poem and prose in wanting to skip back and forth in schizophrenic prose. Sometimes a poem wants to be a story; sometimes the other way around. Sometimes, I'm balls-deep in verse and I want to break down into scene. And sometimes, I'm in the middle of a scene and the dialog wants to break into recitative. And then, I'm all "fuck Westside Story".
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Old 03-18-2018, 02:46 PM
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Fucking poets...


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Old 03-18-2018, 02:55 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Fucking poets...


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I ain't no poet, I barely even qualify as a writer haha
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted by spshane View Post
I know what you mean. I sometimes find myself somewhere between a poem and prose in wanting to skip back and forth in schizophrenic prose. Sometimes a poem wants to be a story; sometimes the other way around. Sometimes, I'm balls-deep in verse and I want to break down into scene. And sometimes, I'm in the middle of a scene and the dialog wants to break into recitative. And then, I'm all "fuck Westside Story".
Sorry just saw this. Yeah, I'm thinking about turning this into a nonfic short story. Its calling for it I feel
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:48 PM
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Originally Posted by daes13 View Post
Sorry just saw this. Yeah, I'm thinking about turning this into a nonfic short story. Its calling for it I feel


Fucking non-fic bastards....!

😀😀😀


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Old 03-18-2018, 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Fucking non-fic bastards....!

😀😀😀


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Jokes on you Tim, cause imma turn this into a long ass story. Same format. And you're the one that has to read it all muahahahaha
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  #11  
Old 03-18-2018, 04:13 PM
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Originally Posted by daes13 View Post
Yeah, yeah, I was supposed to work on that other thing, but this had to be written. You guys understand.


Close to Enlightenment

"Cain't be done," he said. "Imma need a chainsaw."

Can't be done my ass

My girl's son had my chainsaw, helping widows from our local church.
Usually he does yard work with me. Good kid, damned fine worker.
But ol' Grimsley needed a few extra bucks, and I ain't one to bemoan shelling out a few Jacksons for honest labor.

Can't be done my ass - Even if I had my Husqvarna I wouldn't use it.

Tangled in curled vines, the base of the branch grew. Thick as my forearm.

Lifted my clippers, angled them for a beaver cut and pushed the handles together. Twisting left and right, working each side.

"Told ya," he said. "Cain't be done."

Can't be done my ass

50 foot rope, hammer knotted at the end, right under the claw. Up and over it flew, nearly glancing off my hip. Wrapped my hand around the ends, over and under a few times. Pulled and pulled.

Obstinate branch shivered back and forth, leaves and bark cascading down. Arms burning I pulled. Hands cramping I yanked.

A loud crack and there went the branch.
Held aloft by vines. Pointed end swinging like a Vietnam pendulum.

I know how the fella in that Poe story felt.

Branch aimed at my head, accelerating, all I could think about was the cigarette that opened a shoe store. When asked why it responded:

"If I'm gonna get stomped on, I'm at least selling them the shoe."
Good nailer.
It sells the piece nicely.
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Old 04-04-2018, 09:09 AM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Fucking poets...


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Poets fucking...
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