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Chinspinner
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Chinspinner
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Joined: 11:10 PM - Aug 26, 2012

2:19 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #1

Hello, I am a young writer aiming for my level of incompetence, haha, joking, I am very competent!

I have heard that writing requires natural talent, which I have in abundance, and bad writers must work at it, like shrivelled potatoes.

I like chips much like the next man, but shrivelled potato chips are bad! HAHA jokes aside, I hope I have plenty to teach you all and that you will all learn fruitfully.

I will impart my learning forthwith (and you do not get a vocabulary that includes "forthwith" by hanging around the internet)

That is lesson #1. You're welcome, that is a contraction btw - "con- tract- shion"

Thanks
Last edited by Chinspinner on 2:21 PM - Aug 26, 2018, edited 1 time in total.
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Grace Gabriel
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Grace Gabriel
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5:05 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #2

If you could instruct us in the ways of 'show, don't tell' it would be refreshing...always good to hammer home the basics. :ack2:
GRACE GABRIEL
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Chinspinner
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Chinspinner
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5:07 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #3

Well, that is very forward of you Grace, but perhaps we should go out for a drink first.
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Grace Gabriel
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Grace Gabriel
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5:17 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #4

Or how about an authoritative piece on overcoming writer's block.

My pencil tip is licked and poised...

(Hannibal Lecter's voice) "Truly agent Chinspinner...dazzle me with your acumen"
GRACE GABRIEL
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Chinspinner
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5:32 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #5

Well, if I must. It is funny that you asked me this specific question, because I often laugh in the face of people with this question, long and hard. HAHAHAAHAHA, like that, but louder.

Imagine this scene in your head a moment; "with doubt I entered the witch's inner sphincter".

What thought did you have? She is witch, but is she good or bad? Why am I doubtful? Am I a witch myself? Or maybe Kirsten Stewert, or even her co-star, Robert Patrick? Why a sphincter? Is it very small? small enough for both Kirsten Stewart and Robert Sphincter to fit?

And like that you are writing again...
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Grace Gabriel
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5:36 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #6

Chinspinner wrote:Well, if I must. It is funny that you asked me this specific question, because I often laugh in the face of people with this question, long and hard. HAHAHAAHAHA, like that, but louder.

Imagine this scene in your head a moment; "with doubt I entered the witch's inner sphincter".

What thought did you have? She is witch, but is she good or bad? Why am I doubtful? Am I a witch myself? Or maybe Kirsten Stewert, or even her co-star, Robert Patrick? Why a sphincter? Is it very small? small enough for both Kirsten Stewart and Robert Sphincter to fit?

And like that you are writing again...
That's probably the least irritating directive I have read on the subject.
GRACE GABRIEL
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Chinspinner
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5:43 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #7

Grace Gabriel wrote:That's probably the least irritating directive I have read on the subject.
I have more, imagine for a moment that Eggs Benedict Cumberland Sandwich is acting in your piece. He is playing Shylock Homes; just think, "what would Cabbagepatch do?"
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Grace Gabriel
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Grace Gabriel
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5:45 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #8

Chinspinner wrote:I have more, imagine for a moment that Eggs Benedict Cumberland Sandwich is acting in your piece. He is playing Shylock Homes; just think, "what would Cabbagepatch do?"
head for Holland in a daise...
GRACE GABRIEL
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Chinspinner
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5:49 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #9

Grace Gabriel wrote:head for Holland in a daise...
And there is your next plot point. Imagine for a moment that Tom Hiddlestone was bothering you with bad impressions and an inflated sense of self-worth. Would you choose to attack him? He is awful after all, you would be doing us all a favour...
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Grace Gabriel
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5:56 PM - Aug 26, 2018 #10

Chinspinner wrote:And there is your next plot point. Imagine for a moment that Tom Hiddlestone was bothering you with bad impressions and an inflated sense of self-worth. Would you choose to attack him? He is awful after all, you would be doing us all a favour...
I would lock him in a broom cupboard with Rob Brydon and let them compete to the death for 'The Smuggest Raconteur of The Decade' award.

Neither would ever be seen again - found as skeletons in years to come with fixed grins immortalized in porcelain dentistry....
GRACE GABRIEL
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